Of career ending sweeps and high school

[Scott_Gardener]

You are not the best thing to happen to mankind since sliced bread and I bet your skull is only for carrying your teeth." :D:D:D:D:D:D someone said he cried for 2 days, hii itanichekesha for 2 days

[Scott_Gardener]

Our deputy principal, a tall no-nonsense Luo man, and probably the most focused/prudent person I have ever met in my life, used to tell us: if a cow come to school today and write the word cow, then it cannot get a D in mathematics!

[Mosa]

@el cuentacuentos

Back in highchool, we had this Deputy Principal, an old short man who was the most intimidating person I have ever met. You see, he breathed fire, snorted out dark smoke and when he spoke, it was rapid bullets.

He was subject to a lot of group discussions when the poems he gave us proved too cryptic for anyone: no one had a slight idea what they were on. We always wondered what went on in his mind, but mostly on his witty comments that were ready for every moment that he breathed.

We often imagined him sitted at midnight, in a candle’s light, a dictionary in one hand and a notebook in the other furiously scribbling his next witty comments. It was either that or he had a copy of ‘The great book of sweeps’ that he crammed several pages before he went to sleep, that is if he slept at all. No one was sure he even slept!

He made us his sport and ‘swept’ us without batting an eyelid or even smiling.

In the morning he would wake us with “I smell porvety” or “Cobblers, doctors are in class!”

Sleeping in his class lead to “I hope you dreamt a Big E was chasing you” or “Don’t ever let your wife see you asleep, you are so ugly when you sleep.”

A stupid answer got “Is that pimple above your neck supposed to be your head?” Or/and “You don’t need 4 legs to be a cow”

Roaming outside during classtime evoked "Is your class raining? Followed by “I would like to leave you with a thought but I am not sure you have anywhere to put it”

Standing in class and you would get “Are you confusing your legs for your ass or what?”

The others I recall were “You are not the best thing to happen to mankind since sliced bread and I bet your skull is only for carrying your teeth.”

Now I meant to give an Hekaya on what happened during KCSE at my time and how the bugger beat us and went on to charge us for it! (First for making his muscles ache and then for the cable that he destroyed while caning us.) then say ‘best wishes to those that have candidates’ but this is getting too long. Best Wishes to those who have candidates. And Candidates @Mosa

Saitan

[117]

Our principal once told a guy who was late for his physics class, " I guess you will also be late for your own funeral" and carried on with his lesson like a boss.

[SnazzyKenyan]

@Walker

Hii ni kali sana. I have to use it on someone.
Halafu NV ukue ukileta hekaya of such calibers

Ni 'calibre

Meffi

[Joe_Snr]

at Njiiri School we had a Discipline Master whose favourite choice of sweep was ‘‘fisi…!!’’ We reciprocated and nicknamed him so !

[Walker]

@SnazzyKenyan

Ni 'calibre

Meffi

Sawa mwalimu. Chieth!!

[Dominance_Myner]

nice read NV next term mkifungua mgotee san

[S.P]

@el cuentacuentos

And Candidates @Mosa

:D:D:D
Hilarious hekaya man!!

[Tipsy]

:D:D:D:D ohh my

[WANJIKU]

@el cuentacuentos

Back in highchool, we had this Deputy Principal, an old short man who was the most intimidating person I have ever met. You see, he breathed fire, snorted out dark smoke and when he spoke, it was rapid bullets.

He was subject to a lot of group discussions when the poems he gave us proved too cryptic for anyone: no one had a slight idea what they were on. We always wondered what went on in his mind, but mostly on his witty comments that were ready for every moment that he breathed.

We often imagined him sitted at midnight, in a candle’s light, a dictionary in one hand and a notebook in the other furiously scribbling his next witty comments. It was either that or he had a copy of ‘The great book of sweeps’ that he crammed several pages before he went to sleep, that is if he slept at all. No one was sure he even slept!

He made us his sport and ‘swept’ us without batting an eyelid or even smiling.

In the morning he would wake us with “I smell porvety” or “Cobblers, doctors are in class!”

Sleeping in his class lead to “I hope you dreamt a Big E was chasing you” or “Don’t ever let your wife see you asleep, you are so ugly when you sleep.”

A stupid answer got “Is that pimple above your neck supposed to be your head?” Or/and “You don’t need 4 legs to be a cow”

Roaming outside during classtime evoked "Is your class raining? Followed by “I would like to leave you with a thought but I am not sure you have anywhere to put it”

Standing in class and you would get “Are you confusing your legs for your ass or what?”

The others I recall were “You are not the best thing to happen to mankind since sliced bread and I bet your skull is only for carrying your teeth.”

Now I meant to give an Hekaya on what happened during KCSE at my time and how the bugger beat us and went on to charge us for it! (First for making his muscles ache and then for the cable that he destroyed while caning us.) then say ‘best wishes to those that have candidates’ but this is getting too long. Best Wishes to those who have candidates. And Candidates @Mosa

You haven’t even heard the good ones people.

Any stupid act and he was like “The good old man (God), must have dozed off while creating your brain.”

Wearing marvins was also against the rules so if you wore one you got “I think you are a cow, you only lack a tail…remove that pumpkin on your head”

Walking around in slippers was a mortal sin : “the world is not one big bathroom so stop walking around in slippers”

Non uniform was abomination. He would see you with one on and it lead to “Or perhaps there is something you know that we don’t? That maybe there is some arsonist about so you had to wear your whole wardrobe?”

Not taking a shower was even worse. "You stink…be glad you don’t smoke because if you lit a matchstick you would set yourself ablaze.

@el cuentacuentos

Back in highchool, we had this Deputy Principal, an old short man who was the most intimidating person I have ever met. You see, he breathed fire, snorted out dark smoke and when he spoke, it was rapid bullets.

He was subject to a lot of group discussions when the poems he gave us proved too cryptic for anyone: no one had a slight idea what they were on. We always wondered what went on in his mind, but mostly on his witty comments that were ready for every moment that he breathed.

We often imagined him sitted at midnight, in a candle’s light, a dictionary in one hand and a notebook in the other furiously scribbling his next witty comments. It was either that or he had a copy of ‘The great book of sweeps’ that he crammed several pages before he went to sleep, that is if he slept at all. No one was sure he even slept!

He made us his sport and ‘swept’ us without batting an eyelid or even smiling.

In the morning he would wake us with “I smell porvety” or “Cobblers, doctors are in class!”

Sleeping in his class lead to “I hope you dreamt a Big E was chasing you” or “Don’t ever let your wife see you asleep, you are so ugly when you sleep.”

A stupid answer got “Is that pimple above your neck supposed to be your head?” Or/and “You don’t need 4 legs to be a cow”

Roaming outside during classtime evoked "Is your class raining? Followed by “I would like to leave you with a thought but I am not sure you have anywhere to put it”

Standing in class and you would get “Are you confusing your legs for your ass or what?”

The others I recall were “You are not the best thing to happen to mankind since sliced bread and I bet your skull is only for carrying your teeth.”

Now I meant to give an Hekaya on what happened during KCSE at my time and how the bugger beat us and went on to charge us for it! (First for making his muscles ache and then for the cable that he destroyed while caning us.) then say ‘best wishes to those that have candidates’ but this is getting too long. Best Wishes to those who have candidates. And Candidates @Mosa

You haven’t even heard the good ones people.

Any stupid act and he was like “The good old man (God), must have dozed off while creating your brain.”

Wearing marvins was also against the rules so if you wore one you got “I think you are a cow, you only lack a tail…remove that pumpkin on your head”

Walking around in slippers was a mortal sin : “the world is not one big bathroom so stop walking around in slippers”

Non uniform was abomination. He would see you with one on and it lead to “Or perhaps there is something you know that we don’t? That maybe there is some arsonist about so you had to wear your whole wardrobe?”

Not taking a shower was even worse. "You stink…be glad you don’t smoke because if you lit a matchstick you would set yourself ablaze.

Great read!this reminded me of a guy who used to teach us SWA.his nickname was sau i don’t remember his real name.incidentally most SWA lessons fell in the afternoon so with a belly full of murram one is likely to doze off.if sau saw you he would walk towards you silently and pull your bra strap and zap you waking you with a start!manze kaa ni Leo nikumsue

[The.Black.Templar]

@WANJIKU

Great read!this reminded me of a guy who used to teach us SWA.his nickname was sau i don’t remember his real name.incidentally most SWA lessons fell in the afternoon so with a belly full of murram one is likely to doze off.if sau saw you he would walk towards you silently and pull your bra strap and zap you waking you with a start!manze kaa ni Leo nikumsue

tupatie hekaya za highschool, how many teachers did you girls harass!?

[WANJIKU]

@The.Black.Templar

tupatie hekaya za highschool, how many teachers did you girls harass!?

Sawa wacha nidrop thread

[ntash]

What I remember was our deputy. He used to give crazy punishments. Like once He took paper pins from a box, gave to the culpit and asked Him to count thirty pieces. He threw the thirty pins into a tall grass and, then exclaimed oops. Kindly get my pins back.

If He found a senior with an offence, He used to take Him to form one classes and before the class announce that they should not sweep their class coz the culpit will do it. As He leaves He mumbles ,I have forgotten I have given a punishment. Sweep till I remember then I will come and examine the quality of your work.

Once when trees are shedding off their leaves. He a student punishment to collect not sweep all fallen leaves and He should shake the branches to shedbe all leaves.

Once done He wasis supposed to call Him to come and see. The guy was teaching all day.

We met in town andand He still remembers all my names.

[system]

principal wetu alikuwa anatwambia ,it’s your own life, nikiangalia mahali Niko I regret kwanini sikuchukua her words seriously

[The.Black.Templar]

@nectar

principal wetu alikuwa anatwambia ,it’s your own life, nikiangalia mahali Niko I regret kwanini sikuchukua her words seriously

You had a female principal???

[threetatu]

Sisi our discipline master taught us maths and speaks like Chebiqatee…quiz mkimark anakwambia " if you kot tat one kif yourself a pig d*ck" (if you got that one give yourself a big tick)

[leviathon]

reminds me of our highschool teacheer who used to walk around early morning kuamsha kina leviathon wenye hawajaraukia preps
alikua anaingia dorm akibark “naacha matiti ya kilo kumi nikuje kuamsha makende ya kilo moja!?”

[Joe_Snr]

@leviathon

“naacha matiti ya kilo kumi nikuje kuamsha makende ya kilo moja!?”

:eek::eek: kilo kumi??:eek::eek: hata hizo za kilo moja ni heavy weight:D:D[ATTACH=full]137209[/ATTACH]