A poor man meets a rich man around Christmas. So the poor man asks the rich man, “what are you getting your wife this Christmas?” The rich man replies, “diamond earrings and a Mercedes.” The poor man asks, “why are you getting her two gifts?” The rich man says “well, if she doesn’t like the earrings she can drive to the store and exchange them.”
The poor man nods. Then the rich man asks him “so, what are you getting your wife this year?” The poor man thinks about it for a second and replies, “a pair of slippers and a dildo.” The rich man asks “why those two things?” The poor man astutely reponds “this way, if she doesn’t like the slippers she can go fuck herself.”
A guy always insisted on making love to his wife in the dark.
After 20 years she turns on the light, to find him holding a dildo.
She goes ballistic, “You impotent bastard! How could you lie to me all these years?”
He looks her straight in the eyes and calmly says, “I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids…”
Quasimodo being chased down the streets by the neighbourhood kids screaming, “I aint got your ferking ball!”
Candidate filling in job application form
Salary expectations… Yes
A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex. The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father “Daddy, what are they doing?” The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says “they’re just making a puppy.” “OK” says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn’t probe further. The next day, the son bursts into his parents’ room and sees them having sex. The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing he’s in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table. His son asks him “Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?” Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says “me and mommy were making a baby.” His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies “flip mommy over, I want a puppy!”
Sex…at least 4 times a week :D:D
:D:D:D:D
Nephew: Uncle, where do kids come from?
Uncle: mmmh, the store kiddo, kids come from the store
Nephew: Then who ferks the store?
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
shenzi
A man walks up to a prostitute in the street and they start having sex. A policeman shines a torch on them and asks what they are doing.
The man replies “I’m having sex with my wife…”
Policeman says, “Sorry I didn’t know that.”
Man replies “neither did I till you shone the torch on us!”
“Several years ago, UoN funded a study to determine why the head on a man’s penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million shillings. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, Strathmore University decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the UoN study were incorrect. After three years of research at a cost, in excess, of 2 million shillingss, Strathmore University researchers concluded that the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex. When the results of the study were released, Catholic Univesity decided to conduct their own study. They didn’t really trust UoN or Strathmore University. So, after nearly three years of intensive research and a cost of right around 7.5 million shillings (and a lot of input from the Vatican), the study was complete. Catholic Univesity concluded that the reason the head on a man’s penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.”
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
“An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, “Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist.” “I know,” said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”
KWA WENYE VIPARA NA WALE WANANYOAGA JORDAN.
Hivi ukiamka asubuhi nakuanza kunawa
uso wako unajuaga mwisho wa USO na nini…???
unaosha uso haunawi uso , jinga .
Thanks again… Nimejua sasa ujinga yangu mututho wa kk
swafi baba tuko pamoya
Two boys were warned that they’d turn into rocks if they saw a naked woman. One day when playing in the bush, they saw a naked young woman.
Boy 1: remember the warning.
Boy 2: lets get out of here coz I can feel something’s already hard!
God bless you.