His mum is happier today than she was 3 years ago
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iāll only get fat? maybe i should recommend it for someone who craves large butt-acksā¦
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Alcohol is a depressant.
Suicidal/parasuicidal people are mostly depressed.
If you take alcohol and you are already depressed, then the end is nigh.
On another note, a depressed person might take alcohol as a cry for help and attention. When no one heeds the cries, they fall off the cliff.
With anti-depressants, mood stabilisers, psychotherapy etc that young man might still be alive today.
It isnāt as simple as some people put it here, or make light of it. Much as it is psychological, there are things to be looked out for.
It starts with unresolved issues that build up over time; it could be bullying, relationship issues, parental care, love, financial issues, social aspects or even educational. These, if we raise it with the most trusted people, we hope to have them help us resolve it. If they fail to do so, we seek alternative ways of resolving it. In this case, the boy turned to the mother who never understood what it is exactly he needed, or ignored it, hence the constant arguments.
Consequently, he resorted to older women, because of psychological wiring, they are his motherās peers whom he perhaps thought could help solve whatever was bothering him.
Alcohol, was just one of the by the ways of coping with the issues at hand. feeling he could take it no more and unworthy, he decided to take his life.
Threats donāt normally amount to suicide, it is a call to attention to underlying issues, just as someone has pointed out previously. But when that call is not heeded, the threat is exacted, resulting in death.
So simply put, and condolences for the loss, your friend had a really nagging problem which not being able to find a solution, caused him a great amount of stress that he couldnāt handle. Even at this point, no one seemed to notice or care enough. Prolonged stress led to depression, almost simultaneously with alcohol use, so as to cope(mark forget) with the issue.
Either stress or depression combined for alcohol is a recipe for disaster. Already, he has a mental health issue going on, and alcohol only inhibits or impairs his judgementā¦so the rest is pretty easy.
What to look for
- Extreme previously no existent obsessive behaviour i.e extreme cleanliness, or demand for personal space
- Turbulent emotional behaviour- too much excitement, or sorrow and keeping to oneself
- Being overzealous and too generous, often too wiling to give out personal items unlike in the past where they wouldnāt
- Nonchalant behaviour with previously interesting things i.e social life, hobbies etc
- Untidiness
- Constant phrases like " i see heaven" or āi want to dieā or ādeath feels niceā " i see heaven" or. in his case, ānitajiuaā
- Radical and unfounded shift in views on life, especially after death and the nature of human existence
and many more
Sorry for the long post, but hope it is helpful
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@Randy hebu jibu hii swali
Sometimes when am on the low side of life, am broke, drinking a lot, am jobless and suddenly when i get back on my feet someone comes to me and ask, ākwani nini ilikua mbaya, ulikua unakunywa sana, sai unakaa poa, mbona ulikua unajiwaste?ā this especially comes from women. I dont answer such questions i ignore and move on.
Why come and ask me when am back on my feet and cant talk to me when you see me sinking. Nyinyi akina @Randy should do something to help a brother before its too late. I dont mean that i had suicidal thoughts but was just drinking silly knowing that i will over it.
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the day before the act we spent the whole afternoon playing basketball and nothing was a miss I even talked to him about his sudden change in behaviour but he was a bit defensive . Monday afternoon I get that call I almost fainted.
Pole babaa this was beyond you
I feel you sound guilty for not being there for your friend. Have you thought of speaking with his mother in this three years specifically about her son?
Not really I felt betrayed that he could not confide in me. as for the mum she does not like talking about it.
Her mum doesnāt talk about it or doesnāt LIKE talking about it?
Sheās not happy.
I would also feel betrayed. Personally if I ask someone twice if they are ok and they respond affirmatively, then I know, they got shit under control.
she does not entertain the subject.she bare the guilty of not stopping him ,initially when she was told that his son had taken poison and he was struggling she did not respond she came an hour later after other family members insisted .
You arenāt betrayed. Anyone is free to share or keep to his secrets to himself. There is nothing you can change that. Itās only that if something bad happens like it did to our friend @Randy guilty conscience will drive you up the wall. You donāt expect someone who is undergoing mental torture to open up by the second time. Next time try to gather as much hata Aki throw tantrums try as much.
DABDAā¦Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Check the meaning of each word.
His mum is still angry. You are depressed. Was your friend the only kid?
this is not just any friend he used to be my best friend. this is someone who I knew very well.as result of our friendship our parents became good friends.
being best friends should have at least had him open up, but certainly, his going to older women means whatever he was going through, had to do with motherly attention and listening.
But donāt beat your self about it too much, talk to a counselor.
Also, give the mother time, do not be aggressive with her. Take your time, hang around just reminiscing of things the son loved, presumably, with time, she will open up.
You could also suggest to her the counselor thing.
if you burden yourself too much, you will regret since you also are feeling hurt, and could get depressed
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Please Do A Thread on This and i Promise you that you will Have Served a Discerning Purpose on this Forum.
You Are Obviously Well Versed in all Matters Psychological and i beg you to please use your Knowledge to Educate and Inform us on a Problem that Affects Us All at one time or the Other in our Lives But one of which is Ignored and/or swept under the Carpet!
Mental Health and Illness is just Another Form of illness and should be treated as such Without Stigma! But it isn`tā¦
We Need to Talk more about it if we are even going to start Dealing with it as a Problem that exists among us .
@SultBen ā¦ This Village Needs You!!!
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heheheā¦
inakaa nishawahi