You are defining being intimate. Not being in a relationship.
Do you mean aren’t FEELINGS supposed to be mutual?
According to you, there’s no difference. Relationship starts by being intimate. So being intimate = being or beginning a relationship
Having sex is the transformation into a relationship.
Intimacy can be empty pillow talk.
This is the age old manipulation from men that if you love me then you will give me what I want which is sex. That if you don’t have sex with me then mentally I can’t start a relationship with you. Sex has nothing to do with love and nothing to do with relationship. That’s why men pay prostitutes for sex. TO RELIEVE THEMSELVES THE SAME WAY THEY GO TO A URINAL. The difference here is that a man is trying to manipulate you with stories about primates and love and relationships to get out of you what he would pay for with a prostitute. If you want sex just tell a woman that you want to relieve yourself using her body and would she like you to pay with mpesa or cash. Instead of all these stories. Sex has NOTHING to do with relationships. Absolutely nothing. Sex isn’t going to make you love someone any more or less than you loved them before you had the sex. All it does is bring complications, unwanted pregnancy and STDs. For something that lasts less than a minute.
So how many times in a day do prostitutes experience this transformation?
Let’s not mix things here. Sex is important to men bcz of the need to detox sperm but it has nothing to do with intimacy. It is the relationship plus feelings that you have with someone that dictate intimacy not sex. So the relationship gives meaning to the sex. If there’s no relationship then you just offload your load and pay or lie to the person how sex is Jumpstart ING your imaginary “relationship”
I have been in relationships with men for years and I am not having sex with them. They are having sex with other people but those people don’t mean anything to them bcz sex has nothing to do with love. Sex is sex. And I understand that they need to relieve themselves. Of course I find out later bcz men are good at hiding these things. But you see I understand that sex has nothing to do with love, nothing to do with relationship bcz if it did then prostitutes would be out of business since nobody wants a relationship with them and I am from the school of thought that if I am not ready to have kids then I am not ready to have sex with you bcz sex makes kids. Which is just being practical. Instead taking dangerous cancer causing p2 and pills or even worse getting pg and aborting, or get diseases, you can just not have the sex to begin with.
The thing is that it’s upto the woman to dictate the morality in the relationship bcz men will go with whatever the woman dictates, they are amphibians they will change temperature depending on the dictates and standards of the woman they’re with. So women can not let men tell them how a relationship is not starting until sex happens bcz it’s not the man to dictate if, when and how sex happens, it’s the woman. Even in the animal or primate kingdom its the female who dictates. It’s only in human beings men are trying to pervert the order of nature by trying to control sex. And that’s why even as a species we have alot of problems. Perverting nature to suit our desires.
That was not a relationship with you. They couldn’t leave the other women. So that should tell you something.
Its not the other woman or women that they could not leave, since according to you, I had nothing of value aka sex to offer them, so why stay with me, have a relationship with me, pay all my bills, it’s me they could not leave plus the sex they were getting from wereva they were getting. There’s a difference between leaving someone and leaving what they are giving you. It’s like Im in a relationship with a poor man and see wealthy men on the side because I need the money. It’s not the wealthy men I can’t leave, it’s their money which I can’t leave and which I need. The one I really can’t leave is the poor guy who I stay with in spite of him giving me no money.
Incase you are not aware men can’t leave other women alone, that doesn’t change if you as a woman give them the best sex, the most mind blowing sex, if you have children with them, if you have all the money and spoil them rotten, if you are the most beautiful woman in the world like Halle Berry and Beyonce, if you are the most loving woman, if you are a domestic goddess, if you are a mermaid or from Jupiter. If you are beautiful like Beyonce they will have sex with your homely sister Solange. If you are a super model they will screw a plus size woman, if you are tall a short woman. Are you getting it? Even if your nunu is split level ama a skyscraper, as long as you are not the only woman left on earth, men will never leave other women alone, it does not mean anything. How many women did the guy who built the Taj Mahal as a monument to his wife have? Sex means NOTHING to men. NOTHING. If a man loves you, he loves you if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. Sex is not a moderating or an intervening variable. Men jump into burning buildings risking their life to save women they have never had sex with and despise women they’re having sex with. In fact once you have sex with a man is the beginning of your value in his eyes depreciating exponentially. You know how you men treat women before and after you sleep with them.
If you have sex with everyone you are in a relationship with what happens if you fall in love with a man or woman who is HIV Positive? I’ve been in love with a HIV Positive man and been in a relationship with him before he even disclosed his status to me. So if I was reasoning like you, si I would be HIV Positive now? If I was like every man I am in a relationship with, every man I am in love with and sexually attracted to, I have to have sex with them bcz according relationships start and end with sex, what would have happened to me? Because I know he being a man would not have refused to sleep bcz he has HIV. It’s actually having a good head on my shoulders and good morals that protected me and of course God but if I was a typical Kenyan woman who has sex with every man she dates, every man who has money, every boss saa hii ningekuwa team ARV my friend.
FYI I asked him if after he found out his status he’s been having sex with women, he was like yes he has. And he is a very handsome man, very intelligent, very athletic, he coaches a football club that is in this Kenyan premier league. He’s a wonderful man who would move heaven and earth to make me happy. He would spoil me rotten. Pay all my bills. If I was a typical modern woman there’s no way I could have dated such a guy for over a year and never have sex with him. Because he revealed his status after a year and even then it’s bcz I noticed he’s sick ALOT and the severity of even Homa is so hard on him. At one point he was so sick, I thought he was going to die and I was always crying when I would go see him, so after he got well, he came out and told me the truth. In fact after that my resolve to not involve myself sexually with people I am in relationship with was cast in stone. It actually dawned on me that sex is a very dangerous activity that can destroy your life completely and irreversibly. You better give someone your kidney to prove your love than having sex with them. Before I abstained out of principle but after that experience is when the gravity of the level of risk people take when having sex really dawned on me. Yaani you are giving someone your life, your health, your future on a silver platter and telling them to do whatever they want to do with it. If they want to kill you fine. Can you see the insanity of this thing called sex. That’s why I keep saying it’s instigated by demons, bcz nobody in their right mind will take such risks over an activity lasting very few minutes which afterwards you may not even remember it after a few days but now you have a permanent disease that dramatically decreases the quality of your life, puts you on medication for life. I mean it’s only someone who is demon possessed who can be this self destructive. And the HIV lady said it, she told a man that she was HIV Positive, he had unprotected sex with her, only to go take the medication I don’t know if it’s prep or pep for one month. You are possessed by a demon of lust to put your life on the line over a 5 minute thing after doing the deed, your mind returns and you realize the danger you have put yourself in now you go on treatment for a month which is not even guaranteed.
HIV Positive people look healthier than those who are not. Look at what sex with one guy cost this woman. Kwanzaa a woman’s vulnerability to HIV is so high bcz of the high surface area exposed. I don’t know what sane woman is just having sex with people they’re not married to. Not to say that marriage protects you from HIV but at least a woman can say she is not having sex b4 marriage to avoid having sex bcz it’s a matter of life and death. Some man should not be enjoying your body for 5 minutes and for that the woman has to pay for it with drinking ARV for the rest of her life. I mean women needs to end this sexual slavery ati if you woman won’t risk your entire life for me the man to get a nut I won’t marry or love you. Keep your marriage, keep your relationship, keep your so called love after all money is more important than all of these things you people dangle at women to turn them into your slaves. The woke ones who see through your web of lies, smoke screen and mirrors, you say they are bitter. Well I don’t know if ARVs are sweet. They are bitter. Lemme have a suspicious attitude towards men as a woman and be called a bitter woman than to be sweet, compliant and giddy then you give me AIDS and I am stuck with an incurable disease and ARV for the rest of my life. Being bitter and cynical and being a hardliner and a femanazi who will sooner give a man a kidney than have sex with him, can and will save your life. This sweet woman was a virgin, she was a role model in her childhood, then she grew up and the laissez Faire attitude that our society has towards sex entered her, she’s like, I’m an adult now, time to have a boyfriend and have some of this grown up stuff called sex and the very first guy she girlfriends BAM, he gave her HIV. Alafu when she went to ask him thinking atleast we can support each other in our ARV regimens the guy dumped her and went to look for another fresh virgin victim. That’s men for you. So you just have to guard your life as a woman. A man ask you for sex. Remember this poor girl. All she was looking for was a boyfriend or a husband or a family or love or whatever. Now she has to take ARV for the rest of her life. And for what? To be married? To be in a relationship? It’s a freaking scam. At least a prostitute can show you the money she made when she was getting the HIV. What can the regular woman even the married ones show for their so called marriages, they pay their own bills, house the man in their house, fly his jobless ass to greener pastures abroad then he infects you with HIV and leave you with kids to raise by yourself. Move on to the next victim. Me there’s nothing a man can tell me about anything especially about sex. You want sex so bad. I will pay for you to get a sex worker but it’s not my one and only precious life which I will hand over to you to throw in the dustbin.
I
I didn’t say you don’t have value. All I said is that according to a man, you are not in a relationship.
You can have sex with a HIV positive person and not get the disease. Condoms will guard you. Two, people on ARVs cannot pass the virus. So HIV doesn’t stop couples from having sex.
Can we move to another topic, all this talk about SEX since yesterday vhane?It is starting to have an ungodly effect on me. LOL. Walahi denying a luhya man sex is PROBLEM. Heh! For once in my life, I am actually tired of arguing. Arguing about the same thing for 24 hrs. You know Merus can’t argue in a sustained manner coz when it comes to disagreement they’re short distance runners, after a few passionate back and forth, it’s no longer interesting, they want to give you a panga cut and move on. I feel your pain though mluhya kunyimwa vitu it’s equivalent to this LOL. That part where the guy saw salad and scream. There was a lunje guy who studied at Oxford and one day mzungu lady invited him to her crib, mchamaa aliwekeweka canned beans Karibu azirai, he has never forgotten that day. Food, sex and mlunje. Don’t mess.
