Things Men do

system · February 18, 2017, 4:54pm

kwido:

The year is 1999…I had just completed high school and was just at our rural home waiting to join campus in 2001 (BTW why did we have to wait for close to two years to join uni?). One of our jirani decided to hire me and do some coaching to his daughter who was in form 2 then (hehehe…sema opportunity kupatikana…mshande ya 2k and and a chance to taste the honey).
Every weekday evening I would be at this home at exactly 8pm, do some coaching and leave at around 11pm. Those who were born in the village would relate when I say the old folks would be in bed by 10pm;there was no Elec then.
After a week of coaching, I started to borrow things and was surprised this young girl was waiting for such an opportunity. But, the problem was this girl would never visit me kejani…so we hatched a plan; a risky one but it was worth the risk…Villagers, this was the plan: I would say kwaheri as usual at the end of the coaching session, but instead of leaving, I would tip toe to her bedroom since the parents were usually fast asleep by that time. Once nimekamua, I would now carry her in my arms (she was 1gb) and walk with her to the door, she unlatches the door and walk carrying her a few meters before releasing her and she would pretend she had gone out to attend to a call of nature (back in the village, we just answer short calls a few meters from the house)
Day one, everything went as planned…this was the tightest p I had ever tasted…this continued for a few days. One day on our way out, I stepped on their malnourished dog…sema mbwa kubweka…the old Mzee was like, “Wangari nikii murekana na ngui?”(“Wangari, why are u stepping on the dog?”). Ladies n gentleman, I freezed, released the 1gb and tip toed to my usual panya route and that was the end of game. I never cared to ask what she told the old Mzee.
I met Wangari recently with two lovely kids and her husband and it rekindled some memories…

:D:D:D:D:D:D

Reri · February 18, 2017, 4:54pm

Oooh and thanks. Is the box still there ,

ntash · February 18, 2017, 5:09pm

Village love is on a level of its own. Cannot be explained but experienced. Especially before the era of handsets.

Njambaz · February 18, 2017, 5:13pm

Riniki ni muhimu

Abba · February 18, 2017, 5:13pm

Ukweli

biraru · February 18, 2017, 5:15pm

:D:D:D:eek:

system · February 18, 2017, 5:17pm

Yap, still is.

blueline · February 18, 2017, 5:24pm

Nice one. Lucky the old geezer didn’t grab a machete and follow you in hot pursuit

wildfrank · February 18, 2017, 5:39pm

:D:D:D:D:DSHORT NICE HEKAYA

Etigere · February 18, 2017, 5:51pm

Such are the quality hekayas that remind one of his own risky lays

Etigere · February 18, 2017, 5:54pm

U can bet that guy has a pick up line ready in mind… Some things, as one talker put it, 'its either u have the fisi in you or u dont

ndume · February 18, 2017, 6:35pm

kwido:

The year is 1999…I had just completed high school and was just at our rural home waiting to join campus in 2001 (BTW why did we have to wait for close to two years to join uni?). One of our jirani decided to hire me and do some coaching to his daughter who was in form 2 then (hehehe…sema opportunity kupatikana…mshande ya 2k and and a chance to taste the honey).
Every weekday evening I would be at this home at exactly 8pm, do some coaching and leave at around 11pm. Those who were born in the village would relate when I say the old folks would be in bed by 10pm;there was no Elec then.
After a week of coaching, I started to borrow things and was surprised this young girl was waiting for such an opportunity. But, the problem was this girl would never visit me kejani…so we hatched a plan; a risky one but it was worth the risk…Villagers, this was the plan: I would say kwaheri as usual at the end of the coaching session, but instead of leaving, I would tip toe to her bedroom since the parents were usually fast asleep by that time. Once nimekamua, I would now carry her in my arms (she was 1gb) and walk with her to the door, she unlatches the door and walk carrying her a few meters before releasing her and she would pretend she had gone out to attend to a call of nature (back in the village, we just answer short calls a few meters from the house)
Day one, everything went as planned…this was the tightest p I had ever tasted…this continued for a few days. One day on our way out, I stepped on their malnourished dog…sema mbwa kubweka…the old Mzee was like, “Wangari nikii murekana na ngui?”(“Wangari, why are u stepping on the dog?”). Ladies n gentleman, I freezed, released the 1gb and tip toed to my usual panya route and that was the end of game. I never cared to ask what she told the old Mzee.
I met Wangari recently with two lovely kids and her husband and it rekindled some memories…

Did you stop the evening coaching also? They were neighbours, surely mzee should have asked why you stopped coaching her daughter

TheNewDon · February 18, 2017, 7:15pm

I also once “freezed” when mama Kindole came home earlier than usual and I was making omelette for the house girl

Reri · February 18, 2017, 7:16pm

What??

The.Black.Templar · February 18, 2017, 7:26pm

Hehe zis is good

kwido · February 18, 2017, 7:30pm

I really don’t think he knew what was happening…otherwise kungeharibika

kwido · February 18, 2017, 7:31pm

I did not stop…I continued but I was very cautious. Unfortunately the p supply was cut short!

kwido · February 18, 2017, 7:34pm

Haki she is like 2gb now…but with a killer ass. Me thinks that guy of hers amemfanyia kazi smart.

kwido · February 18, 2017, 7:35pm

:D:D:D:D:D

kwido · February 18, 2017, 7:41pm

I will bring another hekaya how I used to wear same jacket with a chic as we passed in front of our stiting room ndio my old Mzee (RIP) doesn’t notice m taking kuku kichinjio…