My friend Silverio, the young 65 years old Malachi from Busia, is on the horns of a dilemma. We tried to resolve it yesterday but we failed.
Here’s the crux of the matter.
Ever since I can remember, Hollywood has lied to us that you need to sleep with your wife/husband in the same bed. It’s the way, the moviemakers have convinced us, that people in love sleep; curling into each other and happily snoring away with gentle smiles on the face.
Except that it is very unrealistic. The way each of us sleeps - the way you position your body, the side you face, where you put your hands as you sleep, the way you curl your feet, the number of blankets you need to feel warm etc etc - makes it almost impossible to achieve the mythical film standards. Sleeping the Hollywood way is a recipe for insomnia and frustration.
The Gikuyu knew this from the days of Ndemi and Mathathi (ie eons ago). Wives would only go to the thingira for servicing and would promptly leave for the house they shared with the children, cum dripping, as soon as the mzee had had his fill. He would be left to sleep in peace until morning. This was unless the mzee was old and needed warmth to keep him going through the night, in which case the youngest wife, a sweet 15-year old, would be asked to keep him company and keep the fire going.
Any way, let’s get to Silverio’s dilemma. He says he’s done forcing himself to sleep in the same bed with his wife. He loves her to death, he says, but sleeping in the same bed with her has always been uncomfortable. Akinyamba ananyamba. Akikohoa anakohoa. Akiturn anaturn. Yaani to every action he takes there is a reaction from the wife. Sometimes there is even a reaction before his action, he laments. Sleeping well, which every 65-years old should do, has become a nightmare (pun intended) he says.
My solution to him, which @Makonika and other animal lovers at Mabatini Super Lounge opposed as we sipped cold WhiteKAPS, is based on personal experience.
Nilimwambia anunue kitanda ingine akue na two exact beds in the same bedroom. Kila mtu, yeye na bibi, awe analala kwa kitanda yake. Yule anataka the occasional jigijigi anaenda kwa kitanda ya mwingine kazi inaendelea. Very powerful signaling.
Hi mambo ya kujifanya fake wazungu inaumiza bure, I opined.
What say you?