This social pressure that people should get married may be misplaced. The marriage institution of akina our ancestors is slowly disappearing.
In this modern world both mama and baba have to go out and hustle. Most of the time batoto are basically raising themselves. The end result being mbaya sana
If people want to remain single society should learn to respect that. I have a cousin in his late 30s with a well paying job who is constantly being harassed by relatives to get hitched.
Not good.
In my mashinani an unmarried man at a certain age is considered Gay…and the loud whispers are defeaning.
chapa hii kila jioni
Depends with whoever you settle with, if all they do is nag, that union is better left in the forest. If you build a good house, work towards uplifting your living standards, then you will have worked on your familys goals as well as yours.
Have some me time too not always toiling to provide, chapa mzinga expensive once in a while, weka kilo ya mbuzi ita beste mchanga lie. After all this life has no formula
Those mashinanigans should learn to mind their own business. Marrying or not marrying is an individual decision
There…
Ideally they should. My generation is not bothered… whether someone is married, divorced, single etc. But the older generation will not let it slip. And your folk will ask you or send your uncles…till you start avoiding family functions.
It is that simple. Umetoa maoni kama mhenga wa kisasa.
Exactly, decreased testosterones also means decreased sex. Facts. There is no such thing as a masculine married man. Most married men is see around look weak and defeated with their heads down and tail tucked between their legs. Very sickening i say. This explains why married women cheat en mass these days. They almost always cheat with single mid 20s to 30s dudes, not the wobbly and simpy married fellas, unless they’re rich. The married men loose their masculine frame and energy they had in their courting phase. They become like their wives, Bahati, anyone. They become boring, and sex becomes more like a routine. Nowonder it’s easy to fuck married women,
Dj mo is a known man whore kwa industry,I used to drink in one of the carwash he owns kwa eatery and bar section,Some of his workers walikuwa wanagossip about his life sana,They didnt like her wife coz she was hard and strict on them,"ndo maana hata skuizi mo analewa ,Huyo mwanamke ni kisirani,i heard those type of talks huko,Hio mnaonanga social media wako tu job,They have to stay together and act like GOALS to make money.
The other one is comedian terence ,Anatandikanga bibi proper.Ni stori nimeskia fro people who know this guys so i dont really know how true they are though
…where there’s smoke…
The day you realise that the tractor that makes the road doesnt get to use the road is the day you work on your tractor shed so that you can build better roads…
Even in marriage be sober and be balanced, you cannot be a good father/husband if you stop working on yourself silently, in the name of sacrifices…
You got deep seated issues. Seek therapy
As a senior citizen I endorse this message. However I would advise that don’t say no to marriage based on cults like MGTOW that demonise the opposite sex. If you meet the right person, go ahead and get married and have children. With the right person it’s a very life affirming experience. You will be surprised that so many people have never met that person but bcz marriage is a rite of passage they just make do with whatever they can get.
You don’t need to be defensive or justify your life choices to anyone. Own your choices without looking to justify them to others. YOUR LIFE YOUR CHOICE. Ati oh life has changed. Nowadays people have no time to raise their kids bcz they’re too busy hustling. Well our grandparents had 10 kids a piece and were slaving at mzungu farms, so are they the ones who had time to raise their children? Some excuses though. At no point were women stay at home mums, even in ushago women must go till the land, milk and feed cows and they have many kids. So that’s not an excuse. Look for another one.
Just do what is best for you as an individual without the group thinking. All of us here were born and raised by married people and they sacrificed alot for us, so much as alot of marriages we see may not endear us to the institution of marriage, we must appreciate the level of sacrifice married people make, to raise children. Let’s appreciate their efforts but at the same time let’s respect people’s right to choose whether to get married or not to have biological children or not to adopt or not. Life is about choices.
So much as I’m a free spirit and I have several single and child free friends and family, I appreciate the contributions of couples to our society. It’s not an either or thing. You can appreciate the freedom and agency of single life at the same time acknowledge the tremendous commitment and sacrifice it takes to raise a family.
I am still relatively young since I plan on living to 100 plus but I have no regrets about my choice to stay single and child free. I have a friend my dad’s age, single and child free, he’s the kindest and most interesting person I know. Marriage or lack thereof does not define you, at the end of the day, you are still an individual and it is you to define yourself and your life.
Relationships can be hell or heaven. Like every thing in life, it is what you make it. So the same way I do not want to be judged negatively for choosing a life of single child free, I extend the same to married people. I counsel alot of my married friends especially when they are at their wits end and want to quit marriage. I don’t discourage them bcz I am single, I support them in the path they have chosen and they also support me in the life I have chosen. That’s how it’s supposed to be not antagonistic all or nothing.
I have met wonderful partners who unfortunately are deceased, maybe my life would have been different if they had lived but they helped me understand there’s so much beauty and love when you are with a partner who cares about you and appreciates and cherishes you. The most precious commodity in the world is love. If you meet someone who really cares about you and brings out the best in you, I think it’s worth it to take the deep plunge. Even if you want to marry for convenience it’s also fine, if it’s what you want. If you want to be selfish and not marry or have kids even after meeting people who could have made wonderful spouses or bcz you never met anyone who made you wanna take the plunge it’s also OK.
In life we have individual journey to travel. Let’s live and let live. Even if you are married God will judge you by yourself not as a unit, so you must strive to be the best person you can be. Be true to yourself.
Explain. Imekuuma? I got issues for telling you marriage and child rearing turns a man in to a mama? If you are about to deny that truth, you are the one with issues, my fren.
Here is an example of a woman that has chosen a different path as an individual apart from their spouse and therefore self actualized.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSDKXkWpYTQ
Here is an example of a man who lost themselves in their marriage and or relationships and did the worst things.
But she is married. Goes against your arguments.
…and MGTOW’s female equivalent, radical feminazism
Pia uyo mo ako so physical… ya Terence uyo mkale alijaribu kuandama kienyeji flani Terence alikua anakula, hapo ndio mangumi ilianza
I was giving examples on how to do marriage right vs doing it wrong. As you can see the lady did not loose herself in the marriage and has thrived by protecting her individualism. Unlike how most women lose their identity in marriage.
The second one is a man who lost himself in a marriage to the point that he felt compelled to kill his 8 month pg wife and 2 small daughters to regain his individuality and power back.