When I reached class seven, my parents decided to enrol me in the village ndio nikimaliza class eight, nipate shule poa. It was the norm anyway.
At first it felt strange coz shagz mnafaa kuingia morning preps by five, sikuwa nimezoea hivo coz pale Drive In Primary, we used to check in by quarter to eight, I had to adjust. No breakfast, you don’t expect shosho aamke 430 akupikie breakfast. Mkienda lunch utaskia eti kuna lunch time parade muambiwe mkirudi saa nane, boys to come with pangas, girls to come with jembes, mara mje na thorns, mara firewood, mara nails, all sorts of nonesense. Games time muende kulima, sijui kujenga gabions, meanwhile class eight hakuna games mpaka 530, very useless timetable. I was not used to this at all.
I was the only boy in the school with polished shoes and socks, a marching pullover, I could speak clear English and kiswahili, tuseme I was outstanding in all aspects according to the village standards. Also it was the year of the world cup in France and we had a black and white sanyo at home so I was very up to date with football. I could talk about wrestling with ease and this won me admiration from my peers. My class work was also good coz I topped the class in my first term, a feat I couldn’t manage in Nairobi. To top it all up, I played football.
However,I had one problem with the headmaster. There’s this beautiful office girl I had seduced, she was our class monitor too. Rumours had it that the headmaster was eating this girl and I also made it known that this girl was mine. So word went round and he heard that we were sharing this pu**y with him. He hated me from then on mpaka akaniwekea pass mark yangu personal ambapo if I didn’t achieve, lazima anichape. Thank God his hatred made me excel coz I was avoiding his lashes.
Kuna weekend moja I invited this chic home, aniletee vitu nikute. Mimi huyo nikadunga longi yangu ya Tokyo, they were the trend during those years na tisho ingine hapo ya Atlanta Olympics ya white nangojea dame. I had to look impressive you know. She came, tukashinda na yeye the whole afternoon, shosho hakuwa na grandpa alikuwa ameenda ulevi. Nikaanika battery zangu za radio kwa mabati the whole morning ndio hiyo afte, tuskize nayo KBC general service. Ni zile battery unaroll kama sita hivi kwa box na unafunga na bladder coz zimebeat. Nikambuyia mkate nusu na fanta orange, which I bought in the morning and kept in a basin full of cold water, hidden under my bed, to keep it cold. She enjoyed the cold soda from the “fridge” with loaf before we romped kiasi, I don’t know what I felt in sex back then but we tried it. It was a very big day in my life, we finished our business and I gave her some big G as we left at around six jioni, ndio mtu asituone.
When I was escorting her back to her home, somebody saw us, there was this stupid old geezer loitering around. A bow legged stout man who used to tuck his oversized shirts into his inner pants, had a very funny walking style due to his legs and had an equally hilarious posture when standing. He reported to the headmaster, naye na machungu juu ya manzi yake akataka kunipunish, so the following day we had a case to answer in school. Dame ndiye aliitwa kwanza, akachapwa viserious mpaka akaadmit we had sex. Nikaitwa later, walimu wote wakataka wanichape. I denied the allegations and refused to be caned I was threatened nitaitiwa wazazi, nikasema ni shauri yao, wafanye vile wanataka. So a boy was sent to call my grandpa.
When he came, he was already tipsy. He was the kind of mzee who could hurl unprintables when drunk and I knew he was definitely going to support me, whatever the case was. The girl also had brought her grandma so the case was not ours anymore. Msichana akaulizwa what happened and she repeated what she had said earlier, in front of the parents now. Mimi nikaulizwa ikabidi nikubali coz my lawyer was there to defend me. When my grandpa heard that I fucked a girl, he asked me if it was really true and how many rounds. I nodded and showed with my fingers, two rounds. He shot up with joy and song, “Oh my boy has started fucking, leo lazima ukule kuku, rounds mbili, wewe ni mwanaume kamili, you took after me, very good.” The old man was dancing and singing praises for me na alikuwa na fimbo mkononi, told the other parent ataje mahari anataka ako tayari kulipa. Everybody was taken by surprise, including me, I didn’t expect that. The headmaster was soo embarrassed na grandpa akamwambia next time akimwitia cases za kipuzi kama hizo, atamcharaza bakora. Hata alimtajia biblical verse fulani hapo eti let the youth enjoy their youth, I didn’t expect him to know such a verse existed.
That was the end of that case, sikuchapwa wala hiyo story haikuwaitajwa tena and imagine that girl never admitted that she used to sleep with the headmaster too, smdh. Ingekuwa ni budangu, hata sijui ingekuwaje.