RANDOM
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NIGGA?? WTF???
Never had a really embarrassing moment that I can write about but I’m paranoid as fuck… You see in life lazima embarrassing moment iwe so kama haujakua nayo inakam so mine is coming… I try to imagine what it would be and I think of things like: uko kwa harusi yako, people are dancing around the cake then a bastard falls on the stand keki iende ivo… That would be totally embarrassing
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Kikiiiiikii hehe happened to me too. I once forwarded to a new married ka wife ka my cousin. Wanted ati to let her feel at ease kwa familia. It was a clip of a drunk she male who opened her traos to show off her ‘man/woman-hood’.
That ka wife sent me a message saying she’s saved!!! And shes righteous and Jesus said we should watch what goes in our minds.
I uninstalled WhatsApp for two months
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HAMA KWA MADHE NDIO UFANYE WEDDING
Am really suffering right now and could do with 30K. Can I give the Mpesa N0?
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KAKA SIJAKULA WIKI MBILI KINDLY MPESA ME
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Dirty trish :eek:
Uwes mbona unawatch porn ya mashemales???
1 Like
KUNA MASHEMALE HUWA NI MADEM KABISAAA
Woishe I felt dirty. But the clip was hilarious. it wasn’t like it was porn or anything. Its a biological defect. Silly new wife every time I spot her, I feel like am a pornstar
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I have also done that severally. Its not all because of money but you never know with these things. I put myself in their shoes and I feel it.
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:);):(:mad:
:p:D:eek::oops::rolleyes:o_O
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Ok sasa wacha mimi pia niangushe yangu, Si kali lakini!! Ok here… " So thes this Sato afte kitu sa nane hivi,nimetoka kwa kibanda kukula chapati surwa, sola ina choma mbaya. So na decide ’ wacha nipitie kwa ATM nitowe za kujispoil kidogo… hapo kwa hizo ATM za barclays behind kimathi house… so before ningie ndani nacheki left na right, just to be aware of my environment, naona kuko clear infact i’m the only one. Mimi huyo kwa ATM naweka pin huku napuliza hewa ya mandondo…n’ by the way mnajua vile hiyo room inakuwanga less na na ni air lock kwasababu ya AC. So when i was just about to key in the amount to withdraw, Thes this Hot 3 chiks wanafungwa mlango. BOSS!!! ile arufu walipigwa nayo!!!:mad::mad::mad:!!! wote wakaruka inje, na ona watchy akikam kucheki kuna nini, pia akafungwa malaongo na kurudi inje. Kumbuka wote wamefunika Pua. after withdrawing my cash… nilipishwa hapo kwa mlago like a KING. kila mtu kando."
30 Likes
mombasa has taught me not to be embarrassed. when they do stupid stuff like forgetting fare, they shout and make fun of it, then becomes karma.
Mine was the first time I brought a girl home.
I remember this day clearly like it was yesterday.
I had just completed my fourth form and was running a video parlor.
One day I hooked up this lady by offering her some free flick time and since I normally closed late, I decided to take her home to my kasmall keja.
The only problem was that ours was a very strict religious family and my mother was ‘fire’.
She could literally skin you alive if you became errant.
And so I did my timing and arrived home at around 11pm knowing that everyone was asleep.
Little did I know that even with the best laid plans, not everything goes as per the script.
I tiptoed not trying to make any unnecessary noise till I entered my cube.
Phew! At last I had managed to outwit the Lioness in the name of my mother.
Then this lady instead of going straight to bed, she says she wants to use the ladies. This means going to the pit latrine which is about thirty meters from the main house.
I showed her and waited some distance away.
Loo and behold! At that same time lights go on in the main house and whom do I see? My mother of course coming out!
'Xuma, is that you?
‘Yes mum’ I replied.
‘I thought I heard some whispers. By the way don’t be coming back late. Goodnight’.
All this time I was praying my ‘visitor’ takes long in the latrine.
She is about to close the door then she remembers she has to visit the latrine also. I freeze because there’s no way nitamzuia. I stand there waiting for the worst to happen!
When she is about to enter the latrine, my ‘visitor’ emerges.
My mother is taken aback startled. My ‘visitor’ is equally startled.
The two women stare at each other like they are weighing one another. Its like an eternity!
I get back my senses and I decide kama mbaya mbaya! I can not lose this p***y and the way I have worked for it. Hata kama ni my mother NEVER!
I take the courage and tell my mum that she was my visitor.
My mum says nothing as I leave for my Keja.
I fwacked the visitor till the wee hours of the next day then she left.
Though I was prepared for msomo from both my Mother and Father the following day, She never brought up the subject up to now.
It was like nothing happened.
Though I was embarrassed ,may be she realized I was not as holy as I pretended to be.
13 Likes
Pole Xuma.
Kwani hii ni wimbo, ndio unandika in stanzas and chorus?
1 Like