What the most fvcked up Sh1t u have seen on ur Plot

[Tommy_Lee_Sparta]

@Tarantinoh

I had neighbors wagisu wakina @LIEN matha akaleta niece wake called Rose akuwe mboch, Kwa bedsitter, as she waits for the kcse results, aliniokolea sana, but Buda fisi naye akaanza mambo rose naye ni wale mamanzi free akaanza kupeana vitu, mathe akaajua and akafanya a sting operation, akapata Mzee red handed Kwa bed Na niece wake, maswali za ‘Rose, pwana yangu amekutombeko mara ngapi?’ ilifanya majirani wacheke mbaya. Rose alipandishwa Eldoret express the same night.

:D:D:D:Dimenimaliza rose alikuwa generous

[Tommy_Lee_Sparta]

@ntash

Hiyo ya kufungiwa inje na mtoi happened to me too.
I was with Him alone in the house. He was so interested in phones to alarming levels. When you receive a call you had to wrestle to keep on on your ear. Incase you win. He hadn’t mastered speech yet but kept uttering non intelligible words that you couldn’t have a mature conversation.
I got a call and chose to receive it in the veranda. I pushed the door to closing position but not locked. The kid unable to follow me oitside latched it at the bottom as He thought I had locked it.

That was some of my longest two hours. Luckily it was semi latched with constant banging it came loose.

its scary shit l l tell you

mtoi hakuwa analia for the 2 hours

[Nyarwath]

Kunguru kuanika thongs zake in front of my door hata kama bamba zote ziko free

[system]

These incidences happen, especially with domestic managers. I have a spare key at the security office in case of emergencies.

[ntash]

@Tommy Lee Sparta

its scary shit l l tell you

mtoi hakuwa analia for the 2 hours

It was tough. Kept engaging/monitoring Him from the window.Luckily it was open. Talking to Him and He doesn’t understand shit and can’t tell what He is saying. The T. V was also on. Then He slept later.

[masaku]

1- kufukuza mwizi ako na nyundo, i was athletic but my young bro outran me and he ended up one on one with the thief. Luckily i reached on time to drive a machete between his ribs…he survived but my small bro was in shock for a whole year and feared me hadi leo.

2 -kukutiliwa na bibi ya wenyewe- back in the days wamama wa viazi walikua my niche. Had this Luo lady with the biggest bum bum in the village. Katiad her na akakubali niende kwake week days juu mtoi ako chuo na husband ako job. One monday afternoon, after knocking kwa gate repeatedly, The kid opted for a panya route kwa fence which no one knew n after kunipata juu ya vitu,kid rushed to his father who was a carpenter nearby. Luckily mbuyu alikua ameenda hardware ku buy material na mother akampea mtoi 40bob coin (kalucy) to buy his silence.

[system]

@Tarantinoh

I had neighbors wagisu wakina @LIEN matha akaleta niece wake called Rose akuwe mboch, Kwa bedsitter, as she waits for the kcse results, aliniokolea sana, but Buda fisi naye akaanza mambo rose naye ni wale mamanzi free akaanza kupeana vitu, mathe akaajua and akafanya a sting operation, akapata Mzee red handed Kwa bed Na niece wake, maswali za ‘Rose, pwana yangu amekutombeko mara ngapi?’ ilifanya majirani wacheke mbaya. Rose alipandishwa Eldoret express the same night.

:D:D:D

[system]

@masaku

1- kufukuza mwizi ako na nyundo, i was athletic but my young bro outran me and he ended up one on one with the thief. Luckily i reached on time to drive a machete between his ribs…he survived but my small bro was in shock for a whole year and feared me hadi leo.

2 -kukutiliwa na bibi ya wenyewe- back in the days wamama wa viazi walikua my niche. Had this Luo lady with the biggest bum bum in the village. Katiad her na akakubali niende kwake week days juu mtoi ako chuo na husband ako job. One monday afternoon, after knocking kwa gate repeatedly, The kid opted for a panya route kwa fence which no one knew n after kunipata juu ya vitu,kid rushed to his father who was a carpenter nearby. Luckily mbuyu alikua ameenda hardware ku buy material na mother akampea mtoi 40bob coin (kalucy) to buy his silence.

:D:D

[Ice_Cube]

@masaku

Luckily i reached on time to drive a machete between his ribs…

Wueh! Inakaa hupendi mchezo

[Tommy_Lee_Sparta]

@pseudonym

I have a spare key at the security office in case of emergencies.

na incident ya kid kujifungia na ndani na ile lock haitumi key

@masaku

drive a machete between his ribs

:eek::eek::eek::eek:bro uko heartless unaweza uwa wewe

@masaku

40bob coin

:D:D:D:D:D uliwai julikana na mzee wake

lakini guts za kukamua bibi ya wenyewe kwake watu huwa wanafikiria nini? dat took balls

kuna jamaa alijificha closet from sato hadi sunday saa nane mzee ule hulipia slay queen alipop in bila NOTICE

[kugeria]

@chriskiil

weka hii in swahili or greek ,i believe it was not in english

:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Tommy_Lee_Sparta]

@Nyarwath

Kunguru kuanika thongs zake in front of my door hata kama bamba zote ziko free

badala upate opening line ya kutoa izo thong kwa mwili yake unacomplan

[inzhener_otmetka]

@masaku

1- kufukuza mwizi ako na nyundo, i was athletic but my young bro outran me and he ended up one on one with the thief. Luckily i reached on time to drive a machete between his ribs…he survived but my small bro was in shock for a whole year and feared me hadi leo.

2 -kukutiliwa na bibi ya wenyewe- back in the days wamama wa viazi walikua my niche. Had this Luo lady with the biggest bum bum in the village. Katiad her na akakubali niende kwake week days juu mtoi ako chuo na husband ako job. One monday afternoon, after knocking kwa gate repeatedly, The kid opted for a panya route kwa fence which no one knew n after kunipata juu ya vitu,kid rushed to his father who was a carpenter nearby. Luckily mbuyu alikua ameenda hardware ku buy material na mother akampea mtoi 40bob coin (kalucy) to buy his silence.

And people keep on saying Kalucy is useless…

[system]

@Tommy Lee Sparta

na incident ya kid kujifungia na ndani na ile lock haitumi key

luckily my main doors all have an auto lock,keys are only needed when accessing the house from outside.

[Ken_Sarro]

During my college days kuna place nlikua nimerent then tuliishi na landlord plot moja na tulikua over 3/4 students. Shida landlord alikua mtiaji sana. Iko siku kama wife ya landlord amezaa on a friday bachelor zikabuy tei na kuweka loud music. Landlord akajaribu kuwakataza hawaskii. Akaishis kukabiliana nao, saa hio ni ninja tatu zinaishi single moja. Alikata wa kwanza bare akimfokea zingine mbili zikamdandia na kumnyoresha proper hadi anapiga nduru. Juu alikua mtiaji tulikua tunajiona tu sinema from our houses hakuna mtu anasongea. After kila mtu amechoka jamaa akapata upenyo akarudi kwake akaishia makarau. Makarau kufika ninja zika kataa kufungua then next day kitu 8am kama bado landlord analala zikaita pikipiki tatu, kila mtu akashika belongings zake na zika hama. Landlord akaishi kuogopa watu. The last time alikua confronted alienda na panga.

[confused_villager]

@Ken_Sarro

wife ya landlord amezaa on a friday bachelor zikabuy tei na kuweka loud music

Kenye inangojea hao wajinga inapiga tizi. They should have been considerate to the little one. Kende oza hao.

[system]

Mimi huambiwa nilijifungia wakakata grills za dirisha. Can’t remember. But bro alijifungia and after much unsuccessful pleading, akafungua miraculously.

[Nyarwath]

@Tommy Lee Sparta

badala upate opening line ya kutoa izo thong kwa mwili yake unacomplan

I don’t ferk jiranis, ndio tuheshimiane nao

[Phylgee]

@New Villager

This is what you get marrying some of these women like…
[ol]
[li]@Purple[/li][li]@Phenomenal Woman / @pseudonym mmoja wao[/li][li]@Phylgee[/li][li][USER=7147]@Georginamakena[/li][/ol]
[ul]

Instead of marrying this type of women afadhali you poop on your palm and wank away everytime the urge comes[/USER]
[/ul]

Ngite… [ATTACH=full]166967[/ATTACH]
@Deorro my middle finger emoji… Where’s it???

[system]

@Phylgee

Ngite… [ATTACH=full]166967[/ATTACH]
@Deorro my middle finger emoji… Where’s it???

how do you clean your vijayjay with those long black cutexed nails?

#DefinatelyNotMarriageable #ChezeaWachaFalaAfuge