Winner by Knockout

system · May 22, 2018, 5:53pm

Unaongeaje ni kama hujawai ishi mwambasani. Pale Tudor, I used to come across bare chested mamas walking about bila aibu. Ukijaribu kujificha unatukanwa…
My neighbor across alikuwa anatembea Kwa nyumba uchi kama mchawi…I could see coz dirisha zilikuwa zile from floor to lintel

Nyarwath · May 22, 2018, 6:01pm

Thank you my friend, you’ve been here to witness the coastal lifestyle, mtu asiniambie I had a paedophilic mind

shocks · May 22, 2018, 6:19pm

Kuna tu dame twa primary tulikuwa tunapenda kuja kwa hao to play with my two year old son lakini pia coz. my wife used to give them juice and biscuits then wana watch TV. One time wakakuja wife hakuwa, niliwatimua coz. I was busy working, lakini sahii naona kuwatimua ndio itakuwa order of the day

system · May 22, 2018, 7:10pm

Kwach, tuseme I saw an opportunity to ‘mock’ you but yes this shits goes down sana especially in my Ocha. I know some single Mums who ‘married’ off their beautiful daughters to rich men they okotad huko bar and had had them first.

This one set you up na wewe ukaingia huko ta ‘nguku eiteiruo mbebe’:D. They must have perfected the game now so it must worse. Usithubutu tena else Kamiti will be your holiday home.

Your hekayas are informative, educational, relatable and hilarious.

inzhener_otmetka · May 22, 2018, 7:33pm

Labda walidhani ni @kelele tuu!

david_mugo · May 22, 2018, 7:34pm

test za hosi ziliaacha kufanywa??

system · May 22, 2018, 7:36pm

Sijawahi live in Mombasani. I come to visit for a few days.

inzhener_otmetka · May 22, 2018, 7:38pm

Mtoto wa kunguru ni kunguru… na hufunzwa mapema!

Nyarwath · May 22, 2018, 7:55pm

Budda that meant going to court and that was even going cost me my job, whatever the outcome

Nyarwath · May 22, 2018, 7:56pm

Next time come visit me, you’ll have the experience;)

Private_developer1 · May 22, 2018, 8:02pm

hehe,yani hii ndio tactic ya ku extort bachelors…waiting for the revenge

system · May 22, 2018, 8:06pm

I will for sure. Load revenge pls.

Nyarwath · May 22, 2018, 8:07pm

Ok, coming

Simiyu22 · May 23, 2018, 4:28am

Never let anyone too close to your life.

WuTang · May 23, 2018, 5:33am

:D:D:D:D:D. Several Kenyan guys pia hufanyiwa hivyo na Ugandan women who have teenage daughters huko Kampala.

WuTang · May 23, 2018, 5:41am

Wakifungua mlango unasimama hapo kuwablock wasiingie na sura ya mtu amekula ndimu.

Radical_Kisii · May 23, 2018, 7:30am

Nyarwath:

It was a very hot Saturday afternoon so I only had a boxer na kifua wazi,I was in the house alone, staring at the ceiling fan. I wanted to nap a little but the heat was too much. My house was a big bedsitter, I had chosen it this big coz I had bought all sorts of things. You know money can unlock some hidden peasant character, am no exception.

I was single after that kunguru we shared with a kisii fled and I had relocated to the coast after landing a new job. I took my time to pimp this house, vile unajua ujaluo ni gharama. Home theatre ya 1000watts being top of the list and a big screen na sofa set of course.
Hii siku nilikuwa off na since hakukuwa na EPL that particular day, nlikuwa kejani tu nikiskiza rhumba baada ya thorough cleaning.

Kuna jirani, a single mother, alikuwa na mtoi wa class eight, a girl to be precise. This jirani was a certified hooker so I always avoided her for obvious reasons, one being I hate freaking with CDs, two I can’t f**k a hooker and three she’s a next door neighbour. Her daughter was quite talkative and friendly and could sometimes ask me to assist with her school work, which I did wholeheartedly. This child could come and watch movies on my big screen, come for cold water from my fridge and even iron her school uniform in my house. So as a token of appreciation, she could wash plates for me and I tip her hata kama ni twenty bob.
I wasn’t used to her mother, at all but she had no problem with her daughter coming to my house, or so I thought.

So this Saturday, the kid is in the house watching TV and am in bed trying to catch some sleep. My house being the first at the gate, nothing could pass me easily. So I heard this screeching of brakes at the gate and since the window was open, I peeped to see whose car it was and why the rush. Police land cruiser.

The door was open. Mi nlishtukia tu makarau washaingia kwa nyumba yangu na huyu mama jirani screaming obscenities eti mimi ndio namharibia mtoto wa shule.
I was so shocked, mark you am in a boxer only. The guys roughed me up, nikaambiwa nivae tuende station. Yaani nilishindwa hata kujitetea.

Station pap, cell mara hiyo hiyo. Kuna jamaa aliona hiki kisanga ikifanyika akareport hiyo incident kule kazini, by then I had not made any call to anybody. So the manager came immediately, thank God my manager was a very good man, it was around six. He came and listened to the statement which he refuted vigorously but that was it, I had to buy my way out or go to court.
I spent the night in the cells coz aliambiwa OCS hakuwa, akaambiwa arudi the following day. Akakam Sunday by seven, nikatolewa nikaenda kwa ofisi ya OCS na yule kunguru akaitwa na mtoi wake. This idiot had trained the kid to say I had been fucking her. So I was told to choose an out of court settlement or go to court which could attract a 14 yr sentence. I chose the out of court settlement. So Malaya akaulizwa anataka alipwe pesa ngapi, akasema 500k. Manager akajam naye vibaya na akamsomea sana. Mimi nilikuwa powerless kwa hii negotiation, still shocked.
They argued until they settled on 250, hamsini OCS alikuwa akule ndio azime hiyo kesi kabisa. Nkaambiwa nitoe cash bail ya 10k ndio niende nilete hiyo pesa, latest Tuesday. Nikatumana doe ikaletwa na nikatolewa police custody. Weee, freedom. Kama haujawaiwekwa cell, huezijua maana ya freedom.

Monday nikarauka bank kuchukua emergency loan, manager aliniandikia barua, alikuwa anajuana na credit manager wa hiyo bank. I secured the loan and by Tuesday tukaenda naye tena station kama witness nikilipa kunguru for damages on her daughter. She insisted on cash, sio transfer ama nini, nikaenda nikatoa pesa kwa counter nikaleta. She won big. Alichukua pesa akaenda zake.

Nilihama that plot the very same week and embarked on a sweet revenge mission. Hekaya yake itakuom. Be very afraid my brothers out there, imagine repaying a loan you never used because a hoe set you up!!

This is definately a set up. no one in their right minds leaves a teenage girl to spend time in a single mans house.

Nyarwath · May 23, 2018, 7:32am

It was a set up and I wasn’t suspecting it to say the least

WuTang · May 23, 2018, 7:36am

Hekaya ya hio revenge ikuom.

Mauricio · May 23, 2018, 8:01am

Ehh! Iza joh! Inafikaga tu place you just keep to yourself ata watoi wa neighbour wakidai kukuja kwako. Shit might go south very quickly mkianza kuzoeana.