People are either so stressed up or whatever they are drinking nowadays is laced with something.
Yesterday at around 22:00hrs I hear a commotion from outside the gate.I step onto my balcony to get a view of the scene. So there are three vehicles, one vehicle is well known (Belongs to an occupant) but the other two are strange. Those two vehicle were ferrying women, each around 3. So a total of around 6 species of the Vagina tribe.
The issue was,the guy who lives in the same residence as I do had apparently hooked a lady who’s a friend to the main chic and the girl’s crew as well. This ignited the fire that could only be put out by police officers later at around 1:00am. The main chic was mad!!!
“Umbwa malaya!!! Nini huwa sikupei mbwa hii? I’ve given you everything babe.Is it pu**y?, Bjs , look at me !!! Nini sina ndio uanze kutomba marafiki zangu? Kuma ndio hii hapa babe,if you want nakupea saa hii but for gods sake leave that biitch alone.Kam twende hun…” The lady then started crying loudly. Mbogi yake ilikuwa inampea emotional support eti, “Sweetie tulia,mwambie atoe carol kwa hio gari tumfunze adabu”…
The guy on the other hand was silent with his side dish still Locked inside his vehicle. The side chic was clearly shaken as she was silent!!! Hata hungesema kuna mtu ndani ya hio gari.
What amused me was,the main chic was ready to make amends even when clearly she wasn’t the one cheating or in the wrong. She kept continously begging for the boyfriend to ditch her friend.
“Babe, sina shida na wewe,just get that bittch out of your can hun,we can still sort this out!!”
The lady was crying in between begging and apologising for someone else’s mistakes. The ninja was just like :
“Mimi siongei na nyinyi saa hii.Sasa ata umeleta jeshi yako yote mniue!!”
“No sweetheart, mimi sina issue na wewe,I have an issue with Carol. Babe mwambie utoke kwa gari , baaaabe come and hug me,kuja sweetie,you’re all I need” then she cries…
Within no time, one crazy chic from the backup squad akaokota jiwe na kupiga gari ya jamaa.
“Beryl…Stop doing that sweetie, that’s my man’s ride unachafua!!”.
She was so angry ungedhania ni yeye mweye hio relationship. The irate lady was like “Wewe mwanaume !! Wacha nikufunze adabu!! Na wewe mjinga toka nje mbwa hii. Na wacha nikwambie,lazima nimake sure Jose amenikula” I think Jose is the side chic"s dude. “Unawezaje fanyia your best friend madharau hivi?” She then approaches the guy who was now backing up towards the gate.The biitch was crazy akakula jamaa makofi na zile mangumi hazina effect.A few families had heard the commotion and were watching the drama from their balconies, mama mmoja wa ploti akajipea kiherehere “Pelekeni kelele na huko ,this is a residential not a pub”
Wueeh!!! the whole gang forgot about the small beef they had and turned against the lady.
“Malaya!! Juu uko na bwana hapo unafikiria huwa hatombani nje? Sweetie wacha nikwambie,nikimpea hii haga atakuwacha saa hii.Ama nikuje uone? Soldier nifungulie gate”
“Sasa wewe unaongea nini na hio sura yako ngumu kuliko economy ya kenya” this one made me burst with laughter
“Unadhani wewe ni mwanamke kutuliko? Ndio hizi matiti na zimesimama kukiko hizo bladder zako,Ona ass” these biitches were stripping to show what they’ve got!! Mama wa ploti na kiherehere akarudi kwake.
I guess the watchman had already called the police because they came and left with the whole drama crew.
Kuamka asubuhi,kumbe the main chic na jamaa walirudiana huko kwenye walipelekwa na polisi hahaha…Love’s crazy.Kwa parking lot, niliwapata holding hands wakiinspect damages kwa Nissan Teana ya jama… " Babe hapa ni buffing tu na rangi.Don’t worry it won’t cost much to fix" In my mind was I was like,are they even serious? Honestly they were so snug with each other you wouldn’t believe they were the same alshabaabs at night. I said hello and they both greeted me back…Nikaenda zangu tu nikicheka. I have witnessed these cases almost every month but this one was crazy… Usitafute mwanamke analewa,tafuta mtu unawacha kejani ukienda hepi,it will save you such embarrassments.