5 most embarrassing moments of my childhood

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chap

Village Elder
#1
1. In class 5, I urinated on my pants because I was afraid to as for permission from my English teacher who was having a lesson with us by that time.

2. Nili shit kwa bedroom floor nikaji lock ndani and my parents had to plead with me for 5 hrs to open for them the door. Nilikanyagwa kama nyoka and from that day I only shit in toilets not even the bush.

3. As minors, our house help once caught me with a girl who was my neighbor, we were lying naked on each other like sucks of maize, to us we knew that is how lungula is done. Nilikanyagwa kama umbwa koko, hadi wa leo I make sure the doors and windows are closed before ferking.

4. One day I decided to abscond duty and lock myself in groundnuts store, nilikula njugu mbich the whole morning, after that ilikuwa tu kuhara mharo - diarrhea and I had to ask help from the person whom I was dodging her duty - mother.

5. I used to copy my friends work in class and submit for marking hapo mbele ya classroom, one day he misled me and I copied wrong answers. Mwalimu alinipiga kofi na imagine ilikuwa jioni, I remained alone in class and did this sums with my own brain and got them all, from that day I discovered kumbe I was also a genius, ni uzembe tu ndo ilinikalia chapati.

Hebu tueleze yako pia tuskie sasa, mimi nishasema
 

threetatu

Village Elder
#5
You have reminded me something hilarious that happened recently...a distant relative passed away..he lived in Mombasa but kwao ni huko Warufaga (Elburgon) to make the long story short, picture this...

its a packed funeral and some men are just too impatient to queue to the only pit latrine that everyone is using..sasa, a few yards away, there are thick healthy bushes of "thafai"..some guys ran deep into the thabai and juu walikua wamemeza a few karobo's lazima wakojoe but kumbe hawajui that thabai burn...seconds into taking a leak, you see a guy chomokaing, mid process of urinating...he is in pain & from a distance we are watching & laughing because its just hilarious to watch a guy that wants to scratch his d*ck & pee at the same time....kumbe watu wengi wa Coast hawajui thafai!
 

chap

Village Elder
#7
You have reminded me something hilarious that happened recently...a distant relative passed away..he lived in Mombasa but kwao ni huko Warufaga (Elburgon) to make the long story short, picture this...

its a packed funeral and some men are just too impatient to queue to the only pit latrine that everyone is using..sasa, a few yards away, there are thick healthy bushes of "thafai"..some guys ran deep into the thabai and juu walikua wamemeza a few karobo's lazima wakojoe but kumbe hawajui that thabai burn...seconds into taking a leak, you see a guy chomokaing, mid process of urinating...he is in pain & from a distance we are watching & laughing because its just hilarious to watch a guy that wants to scratch his d*ck & pee at the same time....kumbe watu wengi wa Coast hawajui thafai!
hahahaha :D:D
 

pamba

Village Sponsor
#10
You have reminded me something hilarious that happened recently...a distant relative passed away..he lived in Mombasa but kwao ni huko Warufaga (Elburgon) to make the long story short, picture this...

its a packed funeral and some men are just too impatient to queue to the only pit latrine that everyone is using..sasa, a few yards away, there are thick healthy bushes of "thafai"..some guys ran deep into the thabai and juu walikua wamemeza a few karobo's lazima wakojoe but kumbe hawajui that thabai burn...seconds into taking a leak, you see a guy chomokaing, mid process of urinating...he is in pain & from a distance we are watching & laughing because its just hilarious to watch a guy that wants to scratch his d*ck & pee at the same time....kumbe watu wengi wa Coast hawajui thafai!
You have reminded me something hilarious that happened recently...a distant relative passed away..he lived in Mombasa but kwao ni huko Warufaga (Elburgon) to make the long story short, picture this...

its a packed funeral and some men are just too impatient to queue to the only pit latrine that everyone is using..sasa, a few yards away, there are thick healthy bushes of "thafai"..some guys ran deep into the thabai and juu walikua wamemeza a few karobo's lazima wakojoe but kumbe hawajui that thabai burn...seconds into taking a leak, you see a guy chomokaing, mid process of urinating...he is in pain & from a distance we are watching & laughing because its just hilarious to watch a guy that wants to scratch his d*ck & pee at the same time....kumbe watu wengi wa Coast hawajui thafai!
Thabia ni nini ,weka paka kambicha sir if you don't mind.
 

gashwin

Village Chief
#12
you are lucky you had a groundnut store....squirrel ingegundua ingeshiba...
You have reminded me something hilarious that happened recently...a distant relative passed away..he lived in Mombasa but kwao ni huko Warufaga (Elburgon) to make the long story short, picture this...

its a packed funeral and some men are just too impatient to queue to the only pit latrine that everyone is using..sasa, a few yards away, there are thick healthy bushes of "thafai"..some guys ran deep into the thabai and juu walikua wamemeza a few karobo's lazima wakojoe but kumbe hawajui that thabai burn...seconds into taking a leak, you see a guy chomokaing, mid process of urinating...he is in pain & from a distance we are watching & laughing because its just hilarious to watch a guy that wants to scratch his d*ck & pee at the same time....kumbe watu wengi wa Coast hawajui thafai!
i heard a variation of this story nikiwa class three...just wondering vile wanaume wangefika kuingia kwa stinging nettles mpaka watoe justo ndiyo "ichomwe"....anyway, variation yenye nilikuwa nimesikia ni ati walikuwa wanahara dere wao akasimamisha gari kwa kamsitu hivi hivi so waliokimbia walisquat kwa thabai...
 

Goks

Village Elder
#13
You have reminded me something hilarious that happened recently...a distant relative passed away..he lived in Mombasa but kwao ni huko Warufaga (Elburgon) to make the long story short, picture this...

its a packed funeral and some men are just too impatient to queue to the only pit latrine that everyone is using..sasa, a few yards away, there are thick healthy bushes of "thafai"..some guys ran deep into the thabai and juu walikua wamemeza a few karobo's lazima wakojoe but kumbe hawajui that thabai burn...seconds into taking a leak, you see a guy chomokaing, mid process of urinating...he is in pain & from a distance we are watching & laughing because its just hilarious to watch a guy that wants to scratch his d*ck & pee at the same time....kumbe wengi wa Coast hawajui thafai!
:D :D:D....Classic!!!
 

Goks

Village Elder
#14
1. In class 5, I urinated on my pants because I was afraid to as for permission from my English teacher who was having a lesson with us by that time.

2. Nili shit kwa bedroom floor nikaji lock ndani and my parents had to plead with me for 5 hrs to open for them the door. Nilikanyagwa kama nyoka and from that day I only shit in toilets not even the bush.

3. As minors, our house help once caught me with a girl who was my neighbor, we were lying naked on each other like sucks of maize, to us we knew that is how lungula is done. Nilikanyagwa kama umbwa koko, hadi wa leo I make sure the doors and windows are closed before ferking.

4. One day I decided to abscond duty and lock myself in groundnuts store, nilikula njugu mbich the whole morning, after that ilikuwa tu kuhara mharo - diarrhea and I had to ask help from the person whom I was dodging her duty - mother.

5. I used to copy my friends work in class and submit for marking hapo mbele ya classroom, one day he misled me and I copied wrong answers. Mwalimu alinipiga kofi na imagine ilikuwa jioni, I remained alone in class and did this sums with my own brain and got them all, from that day I discovered kumbe I was also a genius, ni uzembe tu ndo ilinikalia chapati.

Hebu tueleze yako pia tuskie sasa, mimi nishasema
:D:D:D...Experiences we go through...hiyo ya # 2, ulikuwa how old??? For number 2 & 3 naona kichapo ilikulainisha sambamba.
 
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Web Dev

Village Elder
#20
you are lucky you had a groundnut store....squirrel ingegundua ingeshiba...

i heard a variation of this story nikiwa class three...just wondering vile wanaume wangefika kuingia kwa stinging nettles mpaka watoe justo ndiyo "ichomwe"....anyway, variation yenye nilikuwa nimesikia ni ati walikuwa wanahara dere wao akasimamisha gari kwa kamsitu hivi hivi so waliokimbia walisquat kwa thabai...
Hata kama sina grammar boss, comma, colon, semi na period zitumike poa.
 
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