Kanzu

Having lived in Mombasa for so long I got myself a silk kanzu na ile kofia ya maalim, I used to dorn this muslim gear every Friday and my friends gave me the name Abdallah, even on my rare upcountry forays I would bring my kanzu along and surprise my relas.

Early in 2012 an incident happened that made me pack the kanzu in its box and store it for gd. Twas on a Friday morning na Meria kaa kawa Fridays alikua amedunga kanzu akiwa job, around 9am boss akaniita akanishow niende kumrepresent kwa workshop in one of the beach hotels as he couldn’t make it due to an emergency that had come up. (slices)

I jumped at the prospect coz kwa hizi meetings hua kuna buffet lunch na cocktails jioni, bila kupoteza muda wowote nikajipata in the meeting hall which was quite packed, vile boss alikua ni one of the organizers kiti yake ilikua hi table and that’s where I sat facing all the other guests, after a word of prayer from a catholic nun who was in attendance and introductions meeting ikaanza na kaa kawa Meria akaingia online kutembea kwa net coz the topic was boring. (klist ilikua moto siku hio, navy seal na momo diaries zake)

10:30 tukaenda tea break kurarua masambusa na masausage, hapa ndio mimi huketi palee na kuangalia wakenya and their peculiar feeding habits, one lady took 12 sausages and 6 samosa not minding the cholesterol. By 11 we were back and session two kicked off. Mimi huyoo nikarudi kwa net tena, I was roused from my online journey by the MC at 12 noon when he called the meeting to order and said that the mid morning session was over coz it was Friday and they had to give the muslim brothers enough time to go to the mosque for prayers and without much ado he shuffled to where I was na akaniambia ndugu muislamu tufungie kwa maombi, before that sank in watu wakaanza kusimama. As he handed over the mic roho yangu ilisimama, nikaomba floor ifunguke inimeze, among the guests there were several friends of mine who knew I was not a muslim na walikua wanaokotwa chini ya meza.

Inside the kanzu I had only a vest na nikaskia kasweat icecold kameteremka from both armpits, the MC cleared his throat to signify that he was waiting for me to lead the prayers, hapo ndipo nili curse boss na the day I bought the kanzu and I called on my forefathers wanisaidie, Meria had to think fast, nikazima mike and beaconed to the MC, nikamshow kuna dua sijatoa na kwahivyo sijaruhusiwa kuongoza maombi (ata dua sijui ni nini) hakua na budi ila kumpa mic muislamu muingine.

Kutoka hapo after the very short muslim prayers I made a beeline for the parking lot, kuingia kwa gari nikavua kanzu na kuishia, ata appetite ya lunch ilikua imemalaysia. Didn’t make it to the afternoon session too. Kufika home nikaikunja na kuiweka until today when nimeitoa and given it as a gift to a gd friend of mine.
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Je? Wewe nikitu gani ushawai fanya alafu ukaregret baadaye?

EID MUBARAK

Na ungepewa Amina for free ungekataa?

over the yrs Amina Khadija Rukia Aisha etc wamekua wengi, hehehe

Tabia ya wakenya, ati mwanamke anapakua 12 sausages, :D:D, wengine wakiona buffet lazima apakue kila food mpaka anachukua sahani ya pili

:D:D:D:D:D:D

Hehehehe, muislamu koko.

bonoko fake

Navile nilikua napenda kuivaa na blazer nikiwa Nairobi, najua in this day and age nikavaa hiyo ocha chief na AP wake would come calling eti am radicalized

Hata nickname ni noma a guy called Juma, mtaani alikuwa anaulizwa ‘Juma saumu ya kupeleka vipi?’ In the month of Ramadan. To his chagrin.

Nice hekaya! Learnt your lesson though.

muislamu mwitu… …

Hehehe, have never been inside a mosque Ata Koran sijawai shika na mkono wacha kusoma

Akatae? Angemchukua na kumpeleka Cheki Maneno siku iyo hiyo.

:D:D:D:D:D Day made!

:D:D:D:D

Wapi @kingolonde
Najua uko na kanzu
Hebu leta Hekaya
WaMombasa are taking over this village.
Where are talkers from Naks, Kisumu, Kericho, ELD, Garisa na other counties, jitokelezeni tujenge nchi ktalk way. Sasa hapa imekua ni cownty 001 and 047.
Aint you proud of where you are.
Kenya is still one.
Ningetaja watu lakini staki, hebu tokelezeni

I love the comfort of kanzus but due to their religious affiliation, siwezi vaa

The Kanzu is an Arabic clothing. No affliation to religion, but because many muslims wear it, it has assumed a religious dimension

Yeah, ukivaa wewe ni radicalized
Ukivaa unaweza kaa free kabisa as in mpaka huna boxer, sikuhizi mebaki na kikoi peke yake

Hebu vaa Hizi uone, unaingia kwa Matt watu wanashuka
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Wewe ni alkebab