Yesterday my workmate was telling me a very tragic story that really broke my heart. Her friend who is a mother of two and has been diagnosed with cancer of the brain and lungs was sacked from her job and then on top of that her 'husband' ran off and married some other woman and he did so with the car she took a loan to buy for him.
I hear these stories so so many times ,too many times that I wonder what really is wrong with women nowadays? I know its easy to blame men but women jameni . What on earth are you thinking when....
1) You get children with men who havent married you -by marriage I mean AG or Church or Kadhi courts, sio kulipa mahari and most certainly not come we sin. Cohabitating. And what is more annoying is that even in these come we stay situations the man isnt even providing for you . You are still using your money yet you are a very dangerous situation where you could get pregnant, you are cooking,cleaning and sexing this guy but you still are using your own money. Even a prostitute in River Road has the good sense to demand money for a shot but wewe Ms.Red Cross Idiot you have become a man's mother .
2) You lend men money or take loans or cosign on loans for men,I dont care if this is your husband,brother ,boyfriend or workmate or who ever .If I was to count how many women I know who do this . How on earth do you do this? Why do this? Then 99% of the time the man dumps you and leaves you paying the loan as another woman enjoys the fruits of a loan you are paying or your hard earned money. Ladies, all men have to do in this world is provide . ONE THING. But you wont even let them do that. You have PMS,menstruation,gestation,lactation, housecare, childcare, cooking ,cleaning, decorating, giving moral support, emotional labour, insecurity because of physical weakness, soo many things to deal with but you still take on a man's role of being a provider? Stop being a dumb bitch ok? The money you have should be there to insulate you because as a woman especially if you have kids you are very vulnerable. What if your husband dies or runs off with another woman,to another country ,do you know you will have to become the sole provider? Even if you dont have kids. You need to save your money not be giving it to men, cosigning or taking loans for men. If you are with a man who cant provide and must rely on you financially babe I am sorry you have a pet.If a man has you spenidng any money I am sorry what you have is another roomate and not even another woman because if you had a female roommie you wouldnt be doing all the emotional labour and domestic labour and sexual and reproductive labour. So you have the worst kind of a roomate. Marriage isnt a piece of paper. Its having a provider and a protector. Not having a roomate or a pet.
3) You build houses for men. I know a woman who built a 7 BR house in a man's shags. They had one kid together and they werent even married in AG or church. They broke up. She later became broke and he left. We all know the Linturi -Keitany story. The woman did a customary marriage then spent 54M building Linturi a home in his shags. Then another over 100M building a house in Karen. Ofcourse we all know ,Linturi denied being married to her and said she was just a friend whom he was housing because she was homeless. I also know a woman who built a house and then with 3 kids the man threw her out with the kids and now she is in a rental as some other woman is living in the house she built as she pays the loans taken to build that house. This also goes for contributing to these building projects where the property is in your husband's name. I would think its just common sense that you should never put a cent into any project that does not have your name on it. Yet women keep doing this even after seeing what befalls other women who foolishly invest with men. As a woman you are vulnerable enough why put yourself out there to become more vulnerable .Why put yourself in a situation to be taken advantage of? Because of love? So that people can see that you can bag a man? Is it worth it?
4) Isolation from your family of origin. We all know of the tragic story of Esther Arunga. God created a family for a reason. And family is for life. Marriage at the expense of being estranged from your parents -whose blessings you need - is not worth it. Any man who wants to completely isolate you from your support system is not someone who is doing it for your good. Matter of fact most abusers are well known to isolate their victims from family and friends so as to have power and control over you. What if this person died or even you died. Who would raise your kids? Your mom,your dad ,your siblings. So isolating yourselves in your lovenest is a very stupid move. You need your family of origin through out your life as do your kids. Even if you have a wealthy spouse and your family of origin is poor , do not isolate yourself from them. Blood is blood and blood is thicker than water.
5)Supporting your husband's relatives. I heard a story of a Somali woman who after she got married she forgot all about her own siblings ,she was a firstborn ,the only one who had made it in her family, instead of uplifting her siblings,educating them and helping them come up with her, she focused on her husband's siblings educating them,providing from them. Basically she was the provider, the man used his money to invest then left her with 3 kids, with no home and married a woman his siblings/family (who she educated and supported) had found for him. Moved his new wife into a new house and abandoned his super woman provider first wife. I think we all recall Kajwang's the late's second wife talking about how she housed and provided for Kajwang's brothers one who is an MP now, put them thru law school as they lived in her house in Komarock when Kajwang the late lost his seat. While his first wife was in UK. When the guy regained his seat and became minister of immigration he went back to his first wife and left the ride or die with 3 kids. This is shit that is in the media and still women keep doing these blunders. Ni kurogwa,ni ujinga ama what is it ladies? Mimi nimeshindwa kuelewa.
When God created men to be THE provider God knew women are not supposed to be providers or even co-providers. Women enter into so so many messes when women contravene God's laws. God's law states that you do not have children until you are in covenant marriage with a man who can provide for you and your children. Infact God takes this so seriously that the Bible states that a righteous man provides fully not just for his woman or children but leaves an inheritance for his children's children. The Bible goes further to say, a man who does not provide fully for his family hata awe pastor anahubiria walevi na wezi wanaokoka in droves is worse than an infidel. God puts all these laws and structures to protect women and to protect children who are the vulnerable parties in this equation. When as a woman you are in deep depression ,in debt, heartbroken because of contravening God's laws and standards , you can not be that mother,daughter,sister,friend God created you to be because you become damaged. Being exploited,used and abused makes women shells of themselves and thats not the will of God for any woman alive. Women have a personal responsibility to keep this shit storms out of their lives by being responsible and not getting carried away by the dream/illusion of being a wife or a mother. Remember the adage, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Your intention is to have a family,a wife and a mother .Very noble intention but if the route to that dream isnt meeting God's standard,drop it. Its destination is hell. Dont open the door to the devil .Dont court trouble. Walk away. Walk away. It wont kill you.
I hear these stories so so many times ,too many times that I wonder what really is wrong with women nowadays? I know its easy to blame men but women jameni . What on earth are you thinking when....
1) You get children with men who havent married you -by marriage I mean AG or Church or Kadhi courts, sio kulipa mahari and most certainly not come we sin. Cohabitating. And what is more annoying is that even in these come we stay situations the man isnt even providing for you . You are still using your money yet you are a very dangerous situation where you could get pregnant, you are cooking,cleaning and sexing this guy but you still are using your own money. Even a prostitute in River Road has the good sense to demand money for a shot but wewe Ms.Red Cross Idiot you have become a man's mother .
2) You lend men money or take loans or cosign on loans for men,I dont care if this is your husband,brother ,boyfriend or workmate or who ever .If I was to count how many women I know who do this . How on earth do you do this? Why do this? Then 99% of the time the man dumps you and leaves you paying the loan as another woman enjoys the fruits of a loan you are paying or your hard earned money. Ladies, all men have to do in this world is provide . ONE THING. But you wont even let them do that. You have PMS,menstruation,gestation,lactation, housecare, childcare, cooking ,cleaning, decorating, giving moral support, emotional labour, insecurity because of physical weakness, soo many things to deal with but you still take on a man's role of being a provider? Stop being a dumb bitch ok? The money you have should be there to insulate you because as a woman especially if you have kids you are very vulnerable. What if your husband dies or runs off with another woman,to another country ,do you know you will have to become the sole provider? Even if you dont have kids. You need to save your money not be giving it to men, cosigning or taking loans for men. If you are with a man who cant provide and must rely on you financially babe I am sorry you have a pet.If a man has you spenidng any money I am sorry what you have is another roomate and not even another woman because if you had a female roommie you wouldnt be doing all the emotional labour and domestic labour and sexual and reproductive labour. So you have the worst kind of a roomate. Marriage isnt a piece of paper. Its having a provider and a protector. Not having a roomate or a pet.
3) You build houses for men. I know a woman who built a 7 BR house in a man's shags. They had one kid together and they werent even married in AG or church. They broke up. She later became broke and he left. We all know the Linturi -Keitany story. The woman did a customary marriage then spent 54M building Linturi a home in his shags. Then another over 100M building a house in Karen. Ofcourse we all know ,Linturi denied being married to her and said she was just a friend whom he was housing because she was homeless. I also know a woman who built a house and then with 3 kids the man threw her out with the kids and now she is in a rental as some other woman is living in the house she built as she pays the loans taken to build that house. This also goes for contributing to these building projects where the property is in your husband's name. I would think its just common sense that you should never put a cent into any project that does not have your name on it. Yet women keep doing this even after seeing what befalls other women who foolishly invest with men. As a woman you are vulnerable enough why put yourself out there to become more vulnerable .Why put yourself in a situation to be taken advantage of? Because of love? So that people can see that you can bag a man? Is it worth it?
4) Isolation from your family of origin. We all know of the tragic story of Esther Arunga. God created a family for a reason. And family is for life. Marriage at the expense of being estranged from your parents -whose blessings you need - is not worth it. Any man who wants to completely isolate you from your support system is not someone who is doing it for your good. Matter of fact most abusers are well known to isolate their victims from family and friends so as to have power and control over you. What if this person died or even you died. Who would raise your kids? Your mom,your dad ,your siblings. So isolating yourselves in your lovenest is a very stupid move. You need your family of origin through out your life as do your kids. Even if you have a wealthy spouse and your family of origin is poor , do not isolate yourself from them. Blood is blood and blood is thicker than water.
5)Supporting your husband's relatives. I heard a story of a Somali woman who after she got married she forgot all about her own siblings ,she was a firstborn ,the only one who had made it in her family, instead of uplifting her siblings,educating them and helping them come up with her, she focused on her husband's siblings educating them,providing from them. Basically she was the provider, the man used his money to invest then left her with 3 kids, with no home and married a woman his siblings/family (who she educated and supported) had found for him. Moved his new wife into a new house and abandoned his super woman provider first wife. I think we all recall Kajwang's the late's second wife talking about how she housed and provided for Kajwang's brothers one who is an MP now, put them thru law school as they lived in her house in Komarock when Kajwang the late lost his seat. While his first wife was in UK. When the guy regained his seat and became minister of immigration he went back to his first wife and left the ride or die with 3 kids. This is shit that is in the media and still women keep doing these blunders. Ni kurogwa,ni ujinga ama what is it ladies? Mimi nimeshindwa kuelewa.
When God created men to be THE provider God knew women are not supposed to be providers or even co-providers. Women enter into so so many messes when women contravene God's laws. God's law states that you do not have children until you are in covenant marriage with a man who can provide for you and your children. Infact God takes this so seriously that the Bible states that a righteous man provides fully not just for his woman or children but leaves an inheritance for his children's children. The Bible goes further to say, a man who does not provide fully for his family hata awe pastor anahubiria walevi na wezi wanaokoka in droves is worse than an infidel. God puts all these laws and structures to protect women and to protect children who are the vulnerable parties in this equation. When as a woman you are in deep depression ,in debt, heartbroken because of contravening God's laws and standards , you can not be that mother,daughter,sister,friend God created you to be because you become damaged. Being exploited,used and abused makes women shells of themselves and thats not the will of God for any woman alive. Women have a personal responsibility to keep this shit storms out of their lives by being responsible and not getting carried away by the dream/illusion of being a wife or a mother. Remember the adage, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Your intention is to have a family,a wife and a mother .Very noble intention but if the route to that dream isnt meeting God's standard,drop it. Its destination is hell. Dont open the door to the devil .Dont court trouble. Walk away. Walk away. It wont kill you.