Sex in return for chores

#1
Wadau, a little bit of background is needed. I have a monster appetite for sex, but omubibi has very little appetite. I had slowly started to get used to that fact, however recently wife and I had an argument that opened up the Pandora's box. Sometimes I get hit by the biggest waves of dry spell, and for some reason we just don't get laid. I was politely making inquiries as to why I was receiving very little sex. Personally I'm of the opinion that our chemistry has kind of died, but omubibi says it's got nothing to do with chemistry. So here goes her reason for not giving me sex: She says that she does not see the need of having sex with me coz I don't usually do anything she says. And by this she means little things like helping with the cooking etc. I come from a community where men are chased away from the kitchen, so I'm still trying to adapt. How do I manage this situation? I thought sex in marriage was free and guaranteed, but alas!
 

Chiefguest

Village Elder
#2
Mutu wangu........ Anyway before I prescribe a solution for you I have three questions you need to answer to facilitate my diagnosis.
1. How old are you?
2. How much is your net worth in Ksh (both perceived and real?)
3. How good are you in bed? Ie your ability to excite a woman
Please answer these questions to enable senior elders make informed diagnosis and ultimately issue a practical solution to your problem.
 
#5
:D:D:D Hiyo last sentence is the biggest lie in the planteshen contract.
First fix your wallet ,grow it fat ,utaletewa chakula kwa hustle ama office to scare away fisillets.
Second, the company she keeps should concern you but difficult to fix.
Third, lose interest in her na ukamue PYT, ukirudi shot moja ya kulinda boma. Or to the extreme divorce vile kuna elder alitema bibi after kumtolea the same excuse like your wife's.
 

Jimit

Gargantuan
#6
I am looking for the correct word here... maybe, blackmail ?
That is blackmai
Emotional manipulation fits the context... with that being said, numerous threads have been made explaining what to do, in detail, when faced with such a predicament. Usizoeane na bibi. Tafta heshma yako. Sasa anakuona as her equal. A MAN IS TO BE RESPECTED, NOT TO BE LOVED.
 

Jimit

Gargantuan
#7
Third, lose interest in her na ukamue PYT
I would also strongly suggest this. Deprive her of any attention. Women are suckers for such. Two things are bound to happen, ataanza kutafta attention kwako or elsewhere. When she looks for it elsewhere, and I think she will juu saa hii nyinyi ni equals sasa its all competition, then DO THE NECESSARY.
 
#10
Mutu wangu........ Anyway before I prescribe a solution for you I have three questions you need to answer to facilitate my diagnosis.
1. How old are you?
2. How much is your net worth in Ksh (both perceived and real?)
3. How good are you in bed? Ie your ability to excite a woman
Please answer these questions to enable senior elders make informed diagnosis and ultimately issue a practical solution to your problem.
wadau before you comment further tafadhali let the guy answer this ndio tumsaidie...otherwise acheni asome my latest thread on polygamy and monogamy
 
#13
BTW women use sex not just for self gratification (even those who moan loudly), sex is a tool for manipulation... so you can do more for them... provide for them, worship them, love them, for security, etc... it is ALWAYS given in return for something... look in your file what is lacking... it works like clock work in her brain... whoring redefined... Transactional ALWAYS!!
 

Azor Ahai

Neo Unplugged
#16
Fight fire with fire. Mnyime pesa. Then see who blinks first. Women use sex to manipulate men. Men use money to manipulate women. She has sex as her card. Your card is money.

Ever wondered why marriages fail when a man loses his job or the wife starts earning more than him?? Because the man loses any leverage in the relationship. Your leverage in a relationship as the man is your money. Nyonga pesa.

After the honeymoon phase of a relationship, power dynamics are what keep a marriage intact. The man's leverage over the woman is his money throughout his entire lifetime. Once he loses that leverage e.g he gets fired or his wife gets a big promotion, the marriage crumbles. A woman's leverage over a man is sex. As she ages, she must have children who act as her leverage in the marriage when she is no longer sexually appealing to her husband. That is the very harsh reality of marriage. It is maintained by power dynamics and both parties have a card to play.

As a man, you must earn at least 3X(bare minimum) of what your wife earns to maintain your leverage over her in a marriage. You MUST have enough money to afford her a lifestyle that she can't afford on her own. As a woman, you must be sexually appealing and if not, must have his kids, to maintain your leverage. A broke man and a barren aging woman have no leverage in any marriage.
 
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#17
Marriage is like a war of witts, the minute you cede any grounds to her, you will never plough it back. Better you get a MWK to sort you appetite (also expensive). Sex should never be a bargain chip in the current world where casual sex is being dished out left right and centre. Them days sex was a tool to control men because very few girls would dish it out to a married man, nowadays a married man is the prize, the king
 
#18
Your marriage is almost practically dead without some serious help

Looks like you've lost your authority as a man, or you married the so called modern woman.

You'd think that by doing chores, however many of them that you'll have that plentiful sex. If you will fall for that trap she is setting you up on, first there's no going back and the more you do those chores, the more the complaints increase and the more you have lesser and lesser sex.

There's only one positive way of solving that issue that I see which won't involve quarrelling, kupigana or anything involving fights etc which will in fact make you drift more apart: just go for therapy kila mtu aeleze shida yake.

If it won't be solved by therapy then maybe you two aren't compatible.

Act before it's too late
 
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#19
Marriage is like a war of witts, the minute you cede any grounds to her, you will never plough it back. Better you get a MWK to sort you appetite (also expensive). Sex should never be a bargain chip in the current world where casual sex is being dished out left right and centre. Them days sex was a tool to control men because very few girls would dish it out to a married man, nowadays a married man is the prize, the king
That them days the solution was marrying another wife.
 
#20
Mutu wangu........ Anyway before I prescribe a solution for you I have three questions you need to answer to facilitate my diagnosis.
1. How old are you?
2. How much is your net worth in Ksh (both perceived and real?)
3. How good are you in bed? Ie your ability to excite a woman
Please answer these questions to enable senior elders make informed diagnosis and ultimately issue a practical solution to your problem.
1. 33
2. I make 4x what she makes.
3. I make them cum
 

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