The Day My Spirit Died; Dealing with Male Sexual Violation .

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Ka-Buda

Village Elder
#1
This is a very sensitive subject on a matter that i have Never shared with anyone.
It is something that has taken me the better part of the last 16 years to deal with and to overcome.
It was triggered by something someone here amongst you told me a while ago as just another "reply" to one of my postings,but it touched a nerve and it filled alot of gaps in the emptiness that comes with being a victim of any form of abuse by someone you trust.

I couldn`t have been a day older than 22 and i had just dropped out of University in a foreign land somewhere in Europe. I just lacked the determination and the discipline that is required to go through with a four year degree while doing menial jobs at night just to keep up with the Fees and to pay for my living expenses. I mean your parents back home can only do so much financially and where is the pride in bothering them when you should be in "the land of opportunity?"
So mimi huyo... i move into a new town where there is plenty of foreigners and also plenty of opportunities jobwise with an aim of getting a good paying job for atleast one year that would help me get back to Uni the following year. I don`t know a soul in this town but through a TZ buddy of mine i manage to get a rented room in a shared house where 3 other guys from TZ and Burundi are living.
I have abit of money to last me a month or so but i know that i need to find a job really fast!
Shida is my visa doesn`t allow me to work fulltime and its only valied as long as i am in full time education.This means that my one year away from uni basically invalidates my visa and therefore i am officially illegal! Yes,I am now officially an illegal immigrant in a lonely land far far away from home.

One day while out job hunting in one of the local jobs agencies in town i bump into this Kenyan guy who i will call "Waweru". He must have overheard me while i spoke to the lady at the reception who asked me to bring a valid work permit,passport and a national insurance number to accompany my application form.
Waweru obviously recognises me as a Kenyan (you always know one of your own) and he says hello in a deep "ocha" Swahili accent that leaves me in any doubt that he is a Msapere.
I count my lucky stars juu he is the first Kenyan i have met in this town and i almost feel like i am not alone anymore.
In time i form a close friendship with Waweru because he seems to know everything i need in my predicament and he is more than willing to show me around,introduce me to other Kenyans,take time out to drive me anywhere i need to go BUT most importantly; He can get me the "paperwork" i need to get me a job! - At an agreed fee ofcourse. He will let me use his bank account to get paid and he will even give his ATM card and i would pay him back in small installments for the favour.
Sounded more than perfect to me and anyway;What choice did i have?
This arrangement works well but not for long.
I soon realise that Waweru is not exactly the "msamaria mwema" that he is acting; My weekly wages are not always getting through and while he blames my Employment Agency,i realise that he is making withdrawals from this account that i should have complete control on.
When he makes an un-announced visit to my house one day,my housemate also warns me that huyu jamaa anajulikana in the town because he is g**.
He is also known for targeting "new faces" in town and luring them into his manipulative ways before making sexual advances on unsuspecting men. It makes sense to me because i had had the same suspicions but brushed them maybe because in my desperation i didn`t want to believe it.
Anyway,i know its time for me to cut all ties with this apparently g** man who is also robbing me blind everyweek.
I have also made new friends and it shouldn`t be too difficult for me to "survive" without his help.
Waweru i suspect gets wind of my avoiding him and he one day asks me to go clubbing with him at a club he knew i liked.
That is probably the biggest mistake i have ever made in my life.
Waweru drives to the club and so i know he wouldn`t be drinking that night and i suppose i let myself go knowing that i have "transport" to get me home.
I don`t know what happens inside the club but all i know is that the next time i come to my conciousness, i am back at home with Waweru carrying me up the stairs and i vividly hear my housemate (the same one that warned me about Waweru) telling him that its okay he can go and that he is going to make sure that i was okay.
Waweru ignores him and he gets me on to my bed and proceeds to remove my shoes- just like you would treat a drunk. I am so out of it i can`t help myself but when i feel Waweru trying to undo my belt,i know something is not right and all my drunken/(drugged) thoughts of all i have been told about him come flooding in!...But i am helpless...,i cant even open my eyes! I know i need to push him off but i can`t.... ishoul probably bite his hand as he tries to touch my d*ck but i lack the strength.
He is now on top of me and there is no doubting what his intentions are and as he covers my face with the palm of his hand and proceeds to undo his own zip while staring at me with the most Evil look i have ever seen i know its Do or Die and thankfully i let out the biggest Scream that i could possibly make and within a minute the door to my bedroom opens wide and my TZ friend is holding a knife and and ordering Waweru to get out of the house before he calls the police.
My TZ housemate later told me that he had not slept a wink since we had come back and that all the while he could hear the commotion in the room and that he didn`t know what to do until he heard my scream.
That guy saved me from probably one of the most taboo and indignifying things that could ever happen to a man.Even better,he kept this saga to himself as long as i knew him and i still keep in touch with him once in a while.
The next day i considered calling the cops on Waweru who would have been arrested straight away seeing all the evidence i had including his nasty semen on my trousers! (Yes, saw it a few days later)
But don`t forget; I was an illegal immigrant and would have been deported straght away if the cops knew my status! That is how Waweru got away with an attempted rape/sodomy.

The last i heard of Waweru is that he got deported himself after attempting to rape a young jungu boy and he is back among you good people in the land of peace,love and unity.
I lost all faith and trust in people and became a recluse for years.
That was until i met my first Babymomma who i spent the day with today and who probably is the only person i ever shared this ugly part of my past with.

Please share any of your life changing stories if you want.There is no shame in being Abused,Raped or victimised. You are a conquerer and the only Coward is the person who tried to take away your dignity.

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#3
Sometimes humans prove themselves to be fucked up beyond comprehension. Sasa this bugger in addition to stealing your hard earned money drugs and tries to violate you? :mad:
 
F

Female Perspective

Guest
#6
Mine, I ain't over it yet I think. Just the mention of his name/brands makes me want to vomit! I remember I cried myself to sleep for months and only started sharing my predicament recently.
He would demand to see my "yellow legs" lifts my skirt/dress everytime he dropped by the office, my breaking point was the Lift episode(I mentioned it in some thread) where he shut down the lift grabbed my boobs, I pushed him away to a point he almost slapped me...at this point I was kneeling in some lift corner pleading my case...begged him to let me think about it overnight, that's when he opened the damn lift and I literally ran home never to be seen in that office again. Also that was the end of me and employment!
 
#12
Mine, I ain't over it yet I think. Just the mention of his name/brands makes me want to vomit! I remember I cried myself to sleep for months and only started sharing my predicament recently.
He would demand to see my "yellow legs" lifts my skirt/dress everytime he dropped by the office, my breaking point was the Lift episode(I mentioned it in some thread) where he shut down the lift grabbed my boobs, I pushed him away to a point he almost slapped me...at this point I was kneeling in some lift corner pleading my case...begged him to let me think about it overnight, that's when he opened the damn lift and I literally ran home never to be seen in that office again. Also that was the end of me and employment!



@Female Perspective weka link ya hiyo thread hapa priss. Some of us never saw/ read it..
 
L

Luther12

Guest
#20
Wah! That was a close one:mad:. In retrospect, do you ever suspect that perhaps uliwekewa mchele kwa hiyo phombe?

I recall one patient who once came to hospital when I was an intern, having been similarly violated (in his case there had been actual penetration) and I can tell you the psychological turmoil he was in was out of this world, to say the least.
 
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