Employees, family members, friends, suppliers, even spouses. Do you check who isn’t pulling their weight and how long? I think one important requirement for personal growth is ending some relationships, minimizing some, and starting others.
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It’s not something I do with any frequency. However, it’s important to understand the value you’re getting from all your relationships. In the case of Black tax with poorer family members for example, most of them just take from you without offering anything in return (emotional support, genuine concern for your well-being etc). When you find yourself in relationships where all you do is give give give but never get to receive anything, then it’s time to bolt. You have to ask yourself why nobody is giving you anything when all they do is just take. Ata they can’t pack some nice bananas, arrow roots and ngwaci for you once in a while as a show of appreciation. All they do is just say “tutakuombea uendelee kupata” 
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I’ve told this story somewhere before where some relatives expected too much from me but funny enough, they’d only sing praises of their other more “favorite” relatives despite me being the one who was doing the most for them. Unaskia wakisema “Nani ndiye alitijengea hii, ule mwingine naye akafanya hii” and then you wonder when will they ever acknowledge what you’ve done for them even when you’re the one who has done big things for them. Once I understood that sometimes people don’t like you but they just like your money, macho ikafunguka. Their favorite relatives could sit down all day doing nothing but they’ll still get the most praise. Wewe ata uwajengee palace and they don’t like you that much bado utakuwa unaonyeshwa madharao. Unashindwa why are you always the last person to know anything that’s going on yet everybody else anajua. Wewe you’re just for their convenience.
This applies to all relationships by the way, not just family. Nowadays I play a game of nipe nikupe. If I’m always the one doing the most, I exit stage left. Upuzi ya always taking care of the bills without reciprocal actions niliacha 2023.
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muhimu sana
Wisdom detected , here in tz i have learn a vital lesson. That people love what you have not who you are, all they want is this ,this, many lies but for your needs they cannot attend to them. Scum bags, stupid idiots who pretend to be hospitable but deep down they are manipulative, thieves and people users .
Shida yao kubwa ni tumbo ,food na iphone . But mysteriously they dont get angry over anything ,so wanaweza kukula kama njugu mfukoni.
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Mimi black tax has never been an issue juu we contribute differently. Nikinunua mbuzi na wao wanaichinja and do all the labor. Also, I never support anyone I cannot get labor from e.g distant cousins…hao I cut them off financially kitambo kila mtu ajitegemee. At least for close family members you can always trade money for labor ukitoa pesa wanafanya the manual work and legwork everyone stays happy.
Auditing relationships with friends kwanza ndio muhimu sana. Kuna wakati unaweza kaa chini ufanye hesabu and realize you give far more than you receive from the friendship and it is weighing you down. Kwanza unlike close family members who you retain some contact with, friends can cut you off for good after you sacrifice a lot for them. They have no obligation to return any favors you did them that’s why it is important to cut off the ones who are too dependent on you.
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Managing the issue of black tax is always a tough issue. Some relatives especially the one who live in ocha are just parasitic humans who think that people from Nairobi or other places are tycoons who have wads of notes to dish out like campaign
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Sometimes some lanye care more than your siblings
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the best relationships are transactional, sinanga mashida za upusi kama hizi.
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There might be some truth in that
It’s because those idiots have never really had to work for anything. They don’t pay rent and food is cheap because they grow it on the farm.
Unfortunately that’s the case