@Liana Kama Ulibarikiwa na Maskio na Macho ya Kusoma…Usichoke Kusoma hii hapa ata ka ni refu kiasi…Ngangana, SOMA na UMALIZE…Shukuru Jamaa baadaye…SPOT ON…And will help… @Smith_ BRILLIANT…Nkipata ka-girlfriend and one shit leads to another utakuwa wa kunisaidia…nimekubook…
Dated a guy for 14 months and you already calling him ya fiancee… You been told. Do not move with him but help him financially thru soft “loans” until he gets his financial legs back.
Kwani 14 months ni kidogo
He doesnt want you to move in. It sounded like a plan at first but he has slowly come to realise (or has been enlightened by people) that this will be detrimental to his life. And you offering to help him with his bills isnt helping the situation. He wants to find a solution by himself.
So don’t bother him about moving in, helping with bills and so on. If he decides he needs some help from you he will ask you personally. Just keep him motivated and be a good chic to him.
And for not attaching a picture of the sufurias or your auntie:
http://media4.popsugar-assets.com/files/2014/01/18/221/n/1922398/ed6f9bbed4988808_Cate2.gif.xxxlarge/i/Cate-Blanchett-Crossing-Line-Her-Award.gif
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Poa… Cheers!
But Still huyu @Liana …anafanya kumove in with a guy to sound like its a ceremony…U sure ata ka thong hujawai acha uko…??? Coz if umeacha kuhama kazi rahisi…
Never hit a man when hes down,hizi ma idea zako za ku move in simply because the guy is crippled financially and you happen to be doing well are nothing but torments. Achana na huyu jamaa, atainuka na biz irudi poa then he will propose to you.
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Just hold that gun to his head and make him an offer he cant Refuse! No,siriasri; I get the feeling that you are the "nagging" type who has to have her way and while you honestly and genuinely love this guy and can see a future with him,you are pushing him away by trying to rush him to get to where You have envisioned yourselves as a couple.(In your mind!) Men hate to feel like they are lacking control over their life and the last thing you would want to do is to make him feel like he is not good enough,rather,that his kitchen is not up to your "high" standards. That represents a threat to the control he has earned with his independence so far in his life. I remember the first time i bought a house and i was so broke afterwards that i struggled to pay the bills and to even furnish the house and my then girlfriend would keep going on about the state of the house.We even slept on the floor for more than a month juu singe afford bed and she wouldnt shut up about it.
Women fail to see the bigger picture; i owned the house but all she could see was the lack of furnishings. She had to GO!
One step at a time little sister. Rome was not built in a day; work with him and avoid spoken criticism,its hard enough for him as it is.
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You two should first define what this relationship of yours is. In fact this conversation should have happened way before you guys discussed your moving in, he probably doesn’t think you are the one, or he is not ready for marriage, or he is just playing around with you.
A man should say what’s on his mind plain and clear, you should be very concerned if you intend to get married, if you do get married and he carries on hivi it will be a rough ride.
If you need to move in with a man, you have to do it surreptitiously. You need a big ass handbag like those carried by ladies on Friday evening. In it stuff your clothes and go with your boyfie for drinks. After that go to his place for some frolicking. In the morning, jisahaulishe your clad at his place. 1 year later you will have moved in
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FYI, am a happily married woman.
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R u a man or woman…???am confused
kabisa, start leaving for work from his place on monday and within no time atakua anafika home jioni anakumbuka life was easier when she was there before she knows it she will be spending four days a week kwake then one thing will lead to another, it sounds malicious and manipulative but that is what you ladies are good at!
Am a woman. A mother of two, and expecting a third one in January.
wapi mbisha ya kitchen yako tukuambie kwanini anakataa
Girlfriend, don’t make the mistake of moving in with him before he propose and marry you! If you do, there goes ur white wedding!! B4 long u’ll get pregnant, kids will get inthe way of you ever formalising your relationship n there is something about men that if it is not formal, he might walk away one day na akwambie, “i didnt want this in the 1st place niwewe ulihamia kwangu.” my boyfie has been pressuring me to move in with him n i hav politely refused. I told him if he needs a woman next to him every night, to cook n take care of him, he should then get married. am not getting into a “come we stay” arrangement with him. Wen women do this, we lose our bargaining power!! Please don’t put urself in a position where in the future u might feel used n exploited. I hav a friend who cohabited with her boyfie for 13 years n the dude walked away n left her with a kid to raise. You have to love wisely n don’t forget that you come first!!
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" my boyfie has been pressuring me to move in with him n i hav politely refused.
You have a boyfriend?
Story of my life! Just when i thought we had something going on…!!!.. sirkal saidia…amevunja roho yangu!..
But on a serious note. i don`t think that any woman can make any man marry them if they are not “feeling them”. You can persuade a woman into marriage with nicities and bullshit but a man will never be coerced into “getting serious”. If you have been living together for 10 years and have 4 children and he is still slow to make the commitment,believe me there is one or two boxes he is yet to tick about you and no amount of coercion or hints will change his mind. And its almost always a Trust issue that is getting in the way.
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Living with a man before marriage is the same as the guy milking a cow he hasn’t bought. Why bother buying if the milk supply is assured and consistent?
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