Internet dating; ametoka saa hii... (Never again!)

[Freakazoid]

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[Ken_Sarro]

@Longpole

Once had a double date with some friend, tukatayarisha, those days a desktop in the house meant you have made it in life. Tukaweka playlist with some gospel and secular music mixed. Madem wakafika we had a meal and then my friend akaweka wimbo. Secular music as we were chatting, kiasi a gospel song came on dem wa beshte yangu akaanguka to her knees and raised both her hands and started singing along. The song ended dem akaanza maombi. Whispered to my chick tukatoka went to my place reached the proverbial, twice then tukarudi to my friends. Tulipata amefunguliwa biblia anasomewa.

:D:D playlist yake ilimtakasa. On second thoughts maybe dem alitaka kuoneshana vile yeye ni religious

[dude]

@Longpole

Once had a double date with some friend, tukatayarisha, those days a desktop in the house meant you have made it in life. Tukaweka playlist with some gospel and secular music mixed. Madem wakafika we had a meal and then my friend akaweka wimbo. Secular music as we were chatting, kiasi a gospel song came on dem wa beshte yangu akaanguka to her knees and raised both her hands and started singing along. The song ended dem akaanza maombi. Whispered to my chick tukatoka went to my place reached the proverbial, twice then tukarudi to my friends. Tulipata amefunguliwa biblia anasomewa.

:D:D:D

[hakimoto]

@Immortan Joe

Wewe tishwa na bible na vile Iguana4 ama sijui ni Meria alinyandua mkorino in full gear.mimi Natafuta nun msupa

Iguana4

[Greedy_Genius]

:D:D Hii ni material ya gunia wikii hii. @KaBuda meets legio maria. @introvert

[Mathaais]

@Abba

During my campus days nilipata mmoja kama huyo. Alikuwa ananiona pepo but nilivumilia. The day I thought I’ll lay her ,it ended up being laid. She was a friek in bed. Kumbuka bible is still kwa handbag.

To be honest don’t think hawa bible readers are that holy …no, they use religion to calm their wild side. If you are able to unlock it then you will be a victim …just saying. Anyway play along brother .

@GeorginaMakena .Very apt summary .

[system]

@Mathaais

@GeorginaMakena .Very apt summary .

<<<<<

[Baby_Panay]

Akiingia kichinjio ata akuwe nun usitake kujua.

[The.Black.Templar]

Ata mimi nangoja story

[Mkulima]

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[montecarlo]

@Ka-Buda

So nilikuwa na date with a certain Kenyan woman leo.
She insisted on us having our first date at my place plus she withheld her surname which made it impossible for me to work out what tribe she was.
That was the least of my problems.
Date was set for 5PM

Mimi leo kucha nimeshinda preparation.
First thing morning I bought all the ingredients for the ugali and oxtail kioweo…etc

Came back and did a thorough cleaning,bed sheets changed, bathroom scrubbed spotless,all dirty linen washed,dried and stuck away juu sina Pasi…
A new towel and face towel clearly displayed in the bathroom not to mention a new toothbrush.
Pack of condoms and a new tub of vaseline placed in the bedside cabinet.

An hour before she arrived I had a shower and started cooking.

An hour later …“ding dong” says my intercom and there’s someone at the door!

Roho inachapa with anticipation because I’ve never seen this woman in my life and here she is now!..

Simple introductions and I offered her a choice of full menu of drinks that I had including red and white wine,beer, juice etc…

Akadai ati she wants tea!..

( Hapo ndiyo nilijua Heuston we have a problem!)

Anyway,I finished cooking and invited her back to the kitchen ajiwekee…

Akajiwekea kidogo Mimi nikaweka kiasi cha mtu mzima juu I was starving at this stage and we sit down.
Mimi na tabia zangu mbaya za kukosa kuombea food I was caught just in time kabla I put my first spoonful in my mou!

“Hii chakula imeombewa?” She asked in a very firm tone of voice almost as if she was really offended!

Before I could say anything she reached out to her handbag and produced a Bible!..

Hapo ndiyo nilijua my chances of getting laid zimeishia!..
There is all sorts of weirdos on the net!

Niendelee ama nisiendelee?

Wewe na Meria Magdalene aka @Meria Mata… hii wana 2018 hatutaki. Kama ni bundles andika story na pencil then upload…

[Bakayaro]

Villagers waiting on this story like…
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[UriaNyukwa]

I will pray for that food and later fuck your brains out. Am mother Theresa and M. Monroe at same time

[Mguu_tatu]

@Ka-Buda

Pack of condoms and a new tub of vaseline placed in the bedside cabinet.

Washa nduthi tuanaona plan B ilikua mpangoni

[system]

@Ka-Buda… bro maliza risto.

[denis_young]

@Ka-Buda Ulinyimwa kuma na dame amelewa…hii imeokoka ndio utawezana nayo. Usifanye chairman team mafisi meria mata arevoke membership yako.

[Ka-Buda]

Part two inakuja leo.
By the way, for KTalk Christians, iko mtu ako na altar kwake?
…niliambiwa nitengeneze Altar!..

[system]

@Ka-Buda

Part two inakuja leo.
By the way, for KTalk Christians, iko mtu ako na altar kwake?
…niliambiwa nitengeneze Altar!..

Kwani she wants to sacrifice you at the altar? Chunga my deer :eek::D:D:D

[Ka-Buda]

@Purple

Kwani she wants to sacrifice you at the altar? Chunga my deer :eek::D:D:D

Ati every house has to have an altar!
I have heard it all now!..
Ngoja utaskia maneno.

[Delus]

@Ka-Buda

Ati every house has to have an altar!
I have heard it all now!..
Ngoja utaskia maneno.

Haha maybe she wants it on top of the altar:D:D:D