Luthuli Avenue cumming gone sour, 2013

[MTINGIZA_KITANDA]

Haha am i the only one sijasanyiwa na lanye? But i approach them with caution. Kwanza hiyo kukushika shika wakiuingiza box mwende shot. Hapo ndio unasanyiwa. Mmoja anakuzibaisha huyo mwingine mikono ikitembea kwa mfuko. Vaa trao tight ile njaro lazima usikie ukiwekwa mkono. Wallaet and my phone stays in the front pocket.

[Starscream]

@MTINGIZA KITANDA!!!

Haha am i the only one sijasanyiwa na lanye? But i approach them with caution. Kwanza hiyo kukushika shika wakiuingiza box mwende shot. Hapo ndio unasanyiwa. Mmoja anakuzibaisha huyo mwingine mikono ikitembea kwa mfuko. Vaa trao tight ile njaro lazima usikie ukiwekwa mkono. Wallaet and my phone stays in the front pocket.

Yaani hujawahi ibiwa na makahaba?

[uhondo]

Tulikuwa tumetoka Westy hanye, abc place i think it was. Kitu saa kumi alfajiri, tumeamua tupitie Koinange tukiendaga. Stop outside Nairobi Safari club, cajole two lanyes into the back seat of the car. My boy in the driver’s seat, drunk like a skunk, has the lanye in the seat behind his all over his body plus hands in his pockets, she doesn’t realize i see her trying to rob him of his phone.

My buddy is too high to notice, i immediately cut short her devious plans. We switch sides, and i get into the driver’s seat and start driving around the cbd at five miles an hour, as my buddy now climbs in the back seat and starts doing his thing. Nasikia lanye complaining eti ‘ghai, hio maziwa ni ya mtoto’ hehe. Boy is too drunk to realize that he’s fondling someone that’s lactating.

Having done his thing, we dump them off outside hotel 680 but not before i come really close to running over some cab drivers huddled together outside simmers, the effects of being behind the wheel while seriouly drunk. They hurl stones and insults and try to run after us but get there a couple of seconds too late as our tyres screech back loudly at them as we take off.

Driving around was the only way to do it, 'cos the langaz used to lure drunks then call in their male accomplices to carjack and rob.

Lots of horror stories back then.

[MTINGIZA_KITANDA]

@Starscream

Yaani hujawahi ibiwa na makahaba?

No bro

[tall_mnyama_everywhe]

@Kaffir

Hawa watu nawa ogopa sana, one particular dry spell ili bidii nipande pale 3aden ( ma master wanaitambuwa ) , the rooms were dingy divided by sheets, nika pata shiny eye poa price was $1 this was some time back 1$ could do something nika sema 80 akasema poa , akasema basi toa viatu kazi ianze nikasema no way nilijuwa hapa nita rudi cave mguu tupu, we proceeded the game was fire, gave the ksh100 ,nika muliza wapi change , nikambiwa "uriskia wapi kuma ya eiteee (80) " with that nika vaa suruali with the little dignity I could gather nika toka danguro malaya waki angalia nani huyo anadai ya 80.

:D:D:D:D:D:D

[tall_mnyama_everywhe]

@Kaffir

Hawa watu nawa ogopa sana, one particular dry spell ili bidii nipande pale 3aden ( ma master wanaitambuwa ) , the rooms were dingy divided by sheets, nika pata shiny eye poa price was $1 this was some time back 1$ could do something nika sema 80 akasema poa , akasema basi toa viatu kazi ianze nikasema no way nilijuwa hapa nita rudi cave mguu tupu, we proceeded the game was fire, gave the ksh100 ,nika muliza wapi change , nikambiwa "uriskia wapi kuma ya eiteee (80) " with that nika vaa suruali with the little dignity I could gather nika toka danguro malaya waki angalia nani huyo anadai ya 80.

:D:D:D:D:D:D

[majizee]

Funniest shiet I’ve read in a while

[Starscream]

a few yrs ago pale munyu rd nilikuwa napita na work laptop bag , 2 phones , sizeable cash around 11pm . Kuangalia left kulikuwa na group of skimpily clad whores . minding my biz ,i ignored wakiniita knowing hapa nitabebwa kila kitu mpaka boxer if i indulge them sana , i just shouted , am good , niko poa , lakini punda si punda mmoja wao , a huge rough ugly lanye came at me kunishika mkono akisema bro ntakuuzia poa …mimi kuinua mkono , si akaona bag kwa mgongo . hapo bitch alishika bag alafu the other prostiutes wakaanza kukuja in our direction ilibidi nijog kidogo and the lady akahema na kufall behind… then i suddenly stood na stance ya kickboxing with my hand in my pocket , nika hold my swiss army knife ready for anything , siezi ibiwa hii nyairofi , liwe liwalo , nikamshow, kama unataka kuniibia , kuja ntakumalizia hapa . huge bitch akahesitate lakini the others wakaanza vurugu , "ati huyo jamaa anadai nini " , “si ajaribu” …i then jerked forward kushtua lanye …wacha nduru zianze…kuona hivo nikavuka bara bara na nika potea … hawa malaya hapana macheso

[majizee]

@Kaffir

Hawa watu nawa ogopa sana, one particular dry spell ili bidii nipande pale 3aden ( ma master wanaitambuwa ) , the rooms were dingy divided by sheets, nika pata shiny eye poa price was $1 this was some time back 1$ could do something nika sema 80 akasema poa , akasema basi toa viatu kazi ianze nikasema no way nilijuwa hapa nita rudi cave mguu tupu, we proceeded the game was fire, gave the ksh100 ,nika muliza wapi change , nikambiwa "uriskia wapi kuma ya eiteee (80) " with that nika vaa suruali with the little dignity I could gather nika toka danguro malaya waki angalia nani huyo anadai ya 80.

:D:D:D

I remember this joint, you must be my agemate. When were freshers I remember going there with a crew…it was the first and last time I was offered hio kitu for 20 bob.

[chap]

Enyewe watu ni wanaoma, nimesoma hapo juu msee anataka kupea langaz’ four 20 bob coins :D:D:D

[anon46421834]

@Kaffir

Hawa watu nawa ogopa sana, one particular dry spell ili bidii nipande pale 3aden ( ma master wanaitambuwa ) , the rooms were dingy divided by sheets, nika pata shiny eye poa price was $1 this was some time back 1$ could do something nika sema 80 akasema poa , akasema basi toa viatu kazi ianze nikasema no way nilijuwa hapa nita rudi cave mguu tupu, we proceeded the game was fire, gave the ksh100 ,nika muliza wapi change , nikambiwa "uriskia wapi kuma ya eiteee (80) " with that nika vaa suruali with the little dignity I could gather nika toka danguro malaya waki angalia nani huyo anadai ya 80.

Na imagine hiyo walk of shame ukishuka stairs maraya wakikuangalia:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[tall_mnyama_everywhe]

@majizee

:D:D:D

I remember this joint, you must be my agemate. When were freshers I remember going there with a crew…it was the first and last time I was offered hio kitu for 20 bob.

Na ulikula?

[Starscream]

@chap

Enyewe watu ni wanaoma, nimesoma hapo juu msee anataka kupea langaz’ four 20 bob coins :D:D:D

Chap tuambie kuhusu siku yako ya kwanza Kitale hotel Luthuli avenue

[Jeshi]

@anon46421834

Na imagine hiyo walk of shame ukishuka stairs maraya wakikuangalia:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I remember Kuna day tuliingia na beshte yangu, tukapanda tukaenda tukiwaangalia juu Kuna vyenye Walikuwa wanajeseti kwa stairs ukipanda, nobody fucked juu tulikuwa msoto, tukaamuua tuishie tumeosha mecho, kabla hatujafika zile stairs zakutelemka lanye mmoja akasema shika Hao, ile matusi ilituandama na mbio Walikuwa wanakam ilibidi mtu mguu umsaindie,

[KimKontrol]

pole.

[Jimit]

@solosantos

One time they stole from a cop , I think alikua off duty, so the cop regrouped an came back with his crew, walifunga mlango kwa stairs hapo chino , , they took cash , and fucked kila mtu alikua huko , ransacked, they whole floor , that day the lanyes got their match.
Another day you know they cook in those rooms , the place caught fire, sema kuruka wakiwa Dethee, kwa street, then you know wote Ni ma rotor tank, waliumia , and still biashara iliendelea.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Jimit]

@Starscream

Yaani hujawahi ibiwa na makahaba?

Acha ufala watu normal hawajawahi ibiwa

[Swansea]

@Kaffir

Hawa watu nawa ogopa sana, one particular dry spell ili bidii nipande pale 3aden ( ma master wanaitambuwa ) , the rooms were dingy divided by sheets, nika pata shiny eye poa price was $1 this was some time back 1$ could do something nika sema 80 akasema poa , akasema basi toa viatu kazi ianze nikasema no way nilijuwa hapa nita rudi cave mguu tupu, we proceeded the game was fire, gave the ksh100 ,nika muliza wapi change , nikambiwa "uriskia wapi kuma ya eiteee (80) " with that nika vaa suruali with the little dignity I could gather nika toka danguro malaya waki angalia nani huyo anadai ya 80.

:D:D:D
:D:D:D

[Kiboko_yao]

Interesting tales…:D:D

[Starscream]

@Kiboko yao

Interesting tales…:D:D

Tupe yako