To @imei2012 @bjurmann @kiLo- @pamba na wale wako forces, nataka mnisaidie kutafuta secret ya thuraku ya ku infiltrate the enemy wholly undetected and then attack, nikijua hio nitai patent alafu niuzie Putin who I know will be the highest bidder, yaani general wa thuraku aligojea majeshi wote wachukue position saying HOOOOLD, HOOOLD HOOOOOOOLD kaa kwa movie ya Brave Heart by Mel Gibson, and then this brilliant thuraku general knew just when I was to ram it in akasema attack, ferk it. (come to think of it suspect the general was watching na alitoka hapo akicheka) Ile sarakasi tulitoa hapo no words can describe, alafu due to the precaurious situation mie na Nduta hakuna mtu angescream, we would have given ourselves away, mkiumwa na thuraku kaa 10000 hakuna saa ya kumsaidia mwenzako ata kaa yeye ni dame, wakati nikitoa ngotha ndio niliona Nduta ashatoa zake zote (girls are very fast when it comes to kuvua nguo) anadance ngoma ingine kaa mwendaa, mimi naye sikua na time ya kuappreciate the beautiful sight infront of me, was busy pulling the bastards from my skin.
All of a sudden nikaona Nduta akiroll on the ground and I followed suit, hio tactic ilisaidia coz thuraku nyingi ziliachilia, I then grabbed my shirt and vigourously rubbed myself, Nduta was also doing the sams to herself but all we achieved was to break the ants bodies off while their ugly heads remaind stuck on our bodies via their deadly claws. After the initial shock we were now think rationally na tukaanza kusaidiana kutoana hizo vitu, kidogo kidogo tukaskia sauti ya mama Nduta akiitana, NDUUTA, NDUUUUTA, KARIKII UIKARIRE UGUO, we froze for a second then frantically put on our clothes in record speed na Nduta bila kusahau sukuma zake akachomoka chwa kaa mshale, nikabaki nikijikunakuna navile kagiza kaliingia nikaenda home forgetting my ndoo ya maji.
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Before I got to my cube nikamuita cuzo aje anisaidie kutoa hizo mavitu kwa mgongo, vile alinicheki akaiba vicks kwao akaja nayo, for the next two hours he painstakingly worked on me while all the time mimi nilikua nafikiria how Nduta was coping, tulipoitiwa food ni cuzo alienda kuniletea, vile bro aliingia kutoka roundi zake akasema dawa nzuri ni meffi ya ngombe, so saying aka @123tokambio hadi kwa @Jirani akaleta meffi fresh ya ngombe which he proceeded to kunipaka mwili yote from the neck down, all this time we were as silent as Thuraku on stealth mode, kaa mama angejua najua singesamehewa ata kidogo, yes, ata kaa tuko wakubwa tulikua twachapwa. Hatimaye walichoka namimi wakalala nikabaki namauchungu zangu. Kindu saa tisa kasingizi kakianza kunishika a very big racket broke out broke out kwa nyumba ya kuku, we all woke up armed ourselves and rushed out, tukapata my uncles washafika hapo wanamulika na matochi, we couldint see what was disturbing the chicken kwa inje lakini mtu wa kwanza kuingia huko alichomoka inje mbio mara moja shouting Thuraku!
The ferking marching safari ants had made their way to the chicken banda and attacked the poor chickens, kuku walikua wameziona wakaanza kuzikula lakini they were too many, alafu vile kuku haitafuni they attacked from the inside too, we had over 50 chickens and you can guess the decibels of the racket, ata majirani walikuja, nilipokaribia shosh akauliza nani ananuka meffi ya ngombe hapa ndio nikakumbuka hali yangu na nikajitoa hapo very fast, nikirudi kwa cube ndio nilikutana na Nduta akicome kaa amebeba mafuta ya taa kutoka kwao, somebody in his wisdom alikua amesema paraffin ikimwaga around the perimeter thuraku zitahepa, Nduta ata hakuniangalia mara mbili, nilipomuita alijibu “thii nakou ngui ino, noungomie thurakuini ukimenyaga” (get away from me you sob, how can you knowingly lay me where there are safari ants) and with that she disappeared. Heart broken nikaenda kutafuta maji nioge.
By 6 in the morning bro na cuzo hawakua wamekuja kulala nikatoka kucheki niaje, kumbe shosh na mom ambao ndio walikua wenye kuku waliamua zichinjwe zote, ile kazi ilikua hapo achatu, tukasaidiana hio kazi na ata tukitoa manyoya kwa kuku bado the thurakus were everywhere on their bodies, they looked black, tulipo maliza kazi ya kupika tukaachia wamama tukaenda ku strategise how to battle the thuraku. We armed ourselves with paraffin and matches tukaanza kutafuta their trail lakini wapi, they had disappeared into thin air, we went round the chicken coop several times na hatukuzipata hapo ndipo nilisema zilinivamia nikiwa shambani and down the happy valley we went right to the spot where we had been attacked, i started unrolling the carpet of sugarcane leaves with a lot of vigor not minding the dew mpaka bro akaniuliza kwani niko na hasira na thuraku namna gani, if only he knew. We cleared the whole garden of the leaves and there was not a trace of the soldiers, they had matched on. All along I had thought that thuraku live like termites deep underground in a colony and I wanted to nuke them, Natgeo siku hizo ilikua unknown, ata siku hizi after watching so many documentaries sijawai ona pale thuraku huishi. Kaa unajua na uko na link nipatie please.
Tukarudi home kufeast kwa makuku ambazo bado zilikua zimeumwa na mathuraku sababu ata after kupika thuraku hazikuachilia, shosh na mom wakiwaza kuku zao mimi nilikua nawaza Nduta. Iko siku atakubali kunipea tena after the thuraku disaster?
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